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Ink in the Blood Posts

Richard Chamberlain

Richard Chamberlain

i knew him

only

as Father Ralph

in The Thorn Birds

it was a love story

as complex as

love is

to feel it

in all its forms

the sweeping saga

of love and loss

an undeniable force

between them

and in the end

he died

the way he would

have wanted

ever in her arms

among the delicate roses

and the piercing thorns

with the sky above

her tears below

TL

Lily of the Valley

at the end

of the day

she appeared

with a black box

of dirt

and inside the dirt

there were rows of roots

bearing

green leaves

she had been quietly

tending the soil

for two months

time

growing these roots

into leaves

and when i looked down

into the box

of dirt

with green leaves

i was stunned …

i looked at her

and looked down at the leaves

and looked back at her

i knew what she had brought me

she knew what she had brought me

this wasn’t just a box of dirt

and leaves

this was a memory

from long ago

that i had shared with her

when she was

a little girl

telling her how

when i was

a little girl

just her age

my favorite flower was

a tiny white bell

that smelled like the most beautiful perfume

in the world

and that nobody can bottle it

i told her how i’d never forgotten

what it smelled like

and how i hoped one day

she would find the flower

and breathe it in

i tried three times

to find it

once a nursery promised

they could order it

but after checking back

a time or two

it was not to be

another time a florist had my hopes up

convinced they had the flower

in stock

but it turned out

not to be

my flower

but something called

Leucojum

and from a distance

it looks the same

with its tiny white bells

but closeup

the green dots at the bottom of the bells

ring wrong

and the missing perfume

is a dead giveaway

another time

i found some bulbs at a big box store

and potted them straight away

and watered ‘em and waited

and waited

and waited

but the bells

did not appear

my daughter was 3

when she first asked me

what my favorite flower was

now she’s 18

out on her own

but she came back

in the middle of March

with a black box

of dirt

bearing green leaves

that may or may not

sprout into tiny white bells

of perfume

and while it would be wonderful

if they did

just knowing

she didn’t forget …

how she’s been

sitting in a horticulture class

in college

learning all about soil

and how to treat it

to grow whatever it is

you wanna grow

so when she saw the bulbs

in a big box store

two months ago

she bought ‘em straight away

and found a black box

and a bag of soil

armed with the knowledge

of what the soil needs …

it was hard for her to leave home

it was hard to watch her go

it’s been hard ever since

but last night

my 3-year-old daughter

came back

home

to surprise me

she did not forget ….

TL

If i had a Hammer

If i had a Hammer

i remember

johnny

and his hammer

and how he never

stood still

for too long

a time

he never stopped

being busy

his girls were growing up

and out …

as he hammered nails

relentlessly

day in and day out

all around the house

stopping only

to answer

their call

or text

if he sat too long

or thought too hard

about it

he’d never get back

up …

i remember thinking

i gotta do that

when it’s my time

my turn

i gotta do that

i gotta do what johnny did

i gotta stay busy

and not sit too long

or think too hard

about it

TL

Spinning in Circles

Spinning in Circles

my Amazon order

just shipped

it’s almost 2

to let the dog out

shoulda went to the gym

but i’m blue

and it’s cold

and i don’t know

but

it should be warmer

the ocean used to be warmer

for spring

b

r

e

a

k

now it’s a heartache

where’d the sun go

maybe it’s where that bird

flew off to

that little blue bird

that won’t be caged

like the lion

like the innocent

it’s all relevant

or irrelevant

depending

on the

who

what

when

where

and why

it’s 2

TL

Observation

Observation

the pollen

arrives

at the same time

the clocks

spring forward

Sunday

yellow dust

in the air

and then it’s gone

a bed of grass

filled with flowers

as the butterflies

blink across

the blue bird

in the window

sits for a second

as the squirrels race

up and down the tree

so much activity

even now

the ants are rallying

plotting and planning

how to get in the car

each day is different

underwater

the fish are zooming

around

not worried about

the hook

or the crane

they know how

to adapt

to adjust

animals are good

at that

humans

not so much

TL

Stuck in Place

Stuck in Place

for 18

y e a r s

i wrapped

my identity

up

into a being

who inevitably

left

and for 6 months

now

i’ve been trying to

figure out

how to unstick

from being stuck

i lie in bed at night

thinking

and wake up

thinking

and the other morning

my thoughts were

all over the place

mostly thinking about my dad

and those 6 months we had

September to February

and then as i lie there thinking

about that

it dawns on me

that that’s exactly the time-frame

she’s been gone

September to February

and now it’s 5 days

into March

TL

Mindset

Mindset

Sunday went

and wore off

all the junk food

i ate Saturday

after a year at the gym

sparring the bag

the endurance level is evident

you go in feeling heavy

and leave feeling light

the discipline of life

is in the details

in the habits

in the action

the 1-2 punch

seems like nothing

but it builds

the body back

you can feel your heart beating

you can feel your lungs breathing

you can feel yourself reaching

and returning

to some part of yourself

you forgot

was there

all along

TL

The Day

The Day

bought some

new sunglasses

online

and they came in

on time

so i put ‘em on

today

a new shade

to hide the tears

as i sat chewing chips

in the car

then some chocolate

followed by an elephant ear

which is kinda like a giant sugar cookie

‘cept it’s flakey

anyways

the walk earlier wore off

it was supposed to be warmer

today

but there’s a distinct chill

in the air

so the golf i planned to play

in shorts

turned into a turn around town

listening to tunes

thinking the whole time

‘bout food …

like tacos

fried chicken

pizza

fried fish

tacos

stopped to read

for a bit

then stopped

and watched the wind

move

would have went

to a movie

but nothing worth

seeing

in either theatre

so instead

pulled into a park

on the way home

and watched a bunch of kids

kick up the dust

bent on being Beckham

they sure gave it their all

like they do on the regular

there were no cameras

no first place trophy

or cashier’s check

and still they played

like there was no tomorrow

just today

and that made me

smile

as the sun lowered down

somehow …

i muddled through

the way that i do

TL

(March 1, 2025)

Dear Dad,

Dear Dad,

the snow

has disappeared

now the daffodils

are here

appear and disappear

in each season

you gain something

and you lose something

and the more wonderful it is

the harder it is

to let it go

as you well know

i tend to keep things

too many things

and sometimes those things

hold me back

from living

after you died

the seasons were

the same

until i began

to live again

i’ve experienced a lot

of living

since you’ve been gone

and felt the seasons

change

within

and yet i feel you everywhere

in all things

as Roberta Flack once said,

“Love is a song …”

you were my first song

and i guess that’s why

it still hurts

inside

it was wonderful

daffodils in snow

TL

(March 1, 1993)

“Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye …”

was up

wandering around

at 3

and turned on the TV

switching channels

and then the picture changed

Roberta Flack’s face

words on the screen

died yesterday

on a Monday

at home

at peace

hope she heard the keys

as she drifted

away

the beauty of her voice

stays here

TL

The Gift of Love

pulled along

the beaten path

by a puppy new

discovering

its first Spring

in bloom

looking up

at the blue blue sky

bewildered by

the drop of rain

with wonder

he feels it

drip drop

on the tip top

of his halo head

and laughs

TL

Resilient

Resilient

the sun

gold on the ground

bright in the sky

winking in water

dancing in leaves

showing the rain

the way the wind moves

… on

and through

TL

Potomac

they used to

look up

at the sky

and follow

the plane

out of sight

they used to

look out

across the water

watching waves

soothed by the sound

they used to

look up

at the fireworks

on the Fourth of July

and be amazed

they used to

look forward

to January 1

when the New Year

meant a new year

they used to

look at

real roses

and think of

Valentine’s

Day

but not today

in the collective

consciousness

a quiet prayer

that by and by

you’ll see more than rain

falling

you’ll see the birds

take flight

and the butterflies

land

and the rainbows

appear

and when you look out

across the silent sea

you’ll see the diamonds

shining free

and feel the wind

within the waves

reaching out

and on the coldest

night of nights

may all the stars

be extra bright

and when you see

a rose

may you see

a rose

and know

it’s real

TL

Love

the kiss

of first snow

you barely even

feel it

it’s a miracle

it’s even here

but from a distant place

above

the ground looked up

and prayed

and a million years went by

and by

and the stars

that no one ever sees

broke way

away

from the night

and floated down

past the sun

a glitter of powder

on the ground

covering all the holes

all the dirt

all the puddles

all the leaves

all the seeds

and without a word

the snow melted

into the ground

and all was green again

as if it always was

just a field

of emerald green

without a trace

of glitter in the air

like a snowflake

that never was

but a rose

knows different

as it looks up

from the ground

and unfolds itself

to see the stars

break way

TL

What’s Within

What’s Within

:

in a drop

of rain

the memory of

a tsunami

a city at the bottom of the sea

:

in a breath

of wind

the memory of

a tornado

a city ripped apart

and the morning after

:

in the light of a cake candle

the memory of

a wildfire

a city lost in ember

at the edge of an ocean

on the brink

of a new year

:

in the heart

of humanity

the will

to re-build

TL

Saturation

Saturation

on the out

side

I seem to be

fine

I guess

but everyone

seems to be

fine

I guess

when they’re going

through it

whatever it

is

I feel saturated

in sadness

it may be an age thing

for sure

when my dad died

I was still young

but that was the beginning

of endings

and it just feels like

the end of beginnings

now

I suppose this is the time

to try

something new

and unplanned

to immerse myself into

something

anything

other than blue

I’d like to be green again

like spring

a leaf in the sun

but this is

indeed

a landscape of stick trees

the winter of my life

baring down

the acceptance of things

so many things

last night

the cat and the dog

trudged together

down the hall

and slept in her room

they know

they jest know

that even though

she’s not there

she’s there

TL

Granny

Granny

mourned you

the moment

we met

the first time

i heard you

laugh

and i knew

right then and there

i’d never laugh

like that

again

i knew i was

in trouble

‘cause i knew

i loved you

more

than i let myself

allow

and knowing this

full well

i fell back a bit

a time or two

to put some space

between us

so maybe then

i could survive

the day

the dreaded day

you’d go on

and fly away …

TL

Your Life

Your Life

freedom is

in realizing

what you already have

within

was born at birth

and that was

more

than enough …

everything else

then

will be but

a bonus

TL

The Change of Time

clouds are moving

across the eye

it’ll rain soon

on a Sunday

in August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

the funeral was

what it was

i never left

beneath the shade

of an old magnolia

the snow fell

that year

a peek of pastel

beneath the leaves

mixed with tinsel

and tea

the spit of watermelon seeds

a trace of wheels in the dirt

the imprint of soles on grass

heavy now

the sound of sirens

in the distance

the crickets at night

the static of the TV

timer’s going off

phone’s ringing

the sliding doors opening

and closing

like the oven

dishes dropping in the sink

loading and unloading

the wash

and it’s Christmas already

Thanksgiving next week

the New Year nearly

then it’s Easter again

somebody’s birthday

the one in August

when the clocks fell back

an hour

less light

in a day

TL