Richard Chamberlain
i knew him
only
as Father Ralph
in The Thorn Birds
it was a love story
as complex as
love is
to feel it
in all its forms
the sweeping saga
of love and loss
an undeniable force
between them
and in the end
he died
the way he would
have wanted
ever in her arms
among the delicate roses
and the piercing thorns
with the sky above
her tears below
TL
Lily of the Valley
at the end
of the day
she appeared
with a black box
of dirt
and inside the dirt
there were rows of roots
bearing
green leaves
she had been quietly
tending the soil
for two months
time
growing these roots
into leaves
and when i looked down
into the box
of dirt
with green leaves
i was stunned …
i looked at her
and looked down at the leaves
and looked back at her
i knew what she had brought me
she knew what she had brought me
this wasn’t just a box of dirt
and leaves
this was a memory
from long ago
that i had shared with her
when she was
a little girl
telling her how
when i was
a little girl
just her age
my favorite flower was
a tiny white bell
that smelled like the most beautiful perfume
in the world
and that nobody can bottle it
i told her how i’d never forgotten
what it smelled like
and how i hoped one day
she would find the flower
and breathe it in
i tried three times
to find it
once a nursery promised
they could order it
but after checking back
a time or two
it was not to be
another time a florist had my hopes up
convinced they had the flower
in stock
but it turned out
not to be
my flower
but something called
Leucojum
and from a distance
it looks the same
with its tiny white bells
but closeup
the green dots at the bottom of the bells
ring wrong
and the missing perfume
is a dead giveaway
another time
i found some bulbs at a big box store
and potted them straight away
and watered ‘em and waited
and waited
and waited
but the bells
did not appear
my daughter was 3
when she first asked me
what my favorite flower was
now she’s 18
out on her own
but she came back
in the middle of March
with a black box
of dirt
bearing green leaves
that may or may not
sprout into tiny white bells
of perfume
and while it would be wonderful
if they did
just knowing
she didn’t forget …
how she’s been
sitting in a horticulture class
in college
learning all about soil
and how to treat it
to grow whatever it is
you wanna grow
so when she saw the bulbs
in a big box store
two months ago
she bought ‘em straight away
and found a black box
and a bag of soil
armed with the knowledge
of what the soil needs …
it was hard for her to leave home
it was hard to watch her go
it’s been hard ever since
but last night
my 3-year-old daughter
came back
home
to surprise me
she did not forget ….
TL
Simply
the love
that just
is
is the best
kind
there is
it does not
question
what is
it just
is
what it
is
TL
If i had a Hammer
i remember
johnny
and his hammer
and how he never
stood still
for too long
a time
he never stopped
being busy
his girls were growing up
and out …
as he hammered nails
relentlessly
day in and day out
all around the house
stopping only
to answer
their call
or text
if he sat too long
or thought too hard
about it
he’d never get back
up …
i remember thinking
i gotta do that
when it’s my time
my turn
i gotta do that
i gotta do what johnny did
i gotta stay busy
and not sit too long
or think too hard
about it
TL
Spinning in Circles
my Amazon order
just shipped
it’s almost 2
to let the dog out
shoulda went to the gym
but i’m blue
and it’s cold
and i don’t know
but
it should be warmer
the ocean used to be warmer
for spring
b
r
e
a
k
now it’s a heartache
where’d the sun go
maybe it’s where that bird
flew off to
that little blue bird
that won’t be caged
like the lion
like the innocent
it’s all relevant
or irrelevant
depending
on the
who
what
when
where
and why
it’s 2
TL
Observation
the pollen
arrives
at the same time
the clocks
spring forward
Sunday
yellow dust
in the air
and then it’s gone
a bed of grass
filled with flowers
as the butterflies
blink across
the blue bird
in the window
sits for a second
as the squirrels race
up and down the tree
so much activity
even now
the ants are rallying
plotting and planning
how to get in the car
each day is different
underwater
the fish are zooming
around
not worried about
the hook
or the crane
they know how
to adapt
to adjust
animals are good
at that
humans
not so much
TL
Stuck in Place
for 18
y e a r s
i wrapped
my identity
up
into a being
who inevitably
left
and for 6 months
now
i’ve been trying to
figure out
how to unstick
from being stuck
i lie in bed at night
thinking
and wake up
thinking
and the other morning
my thoughts were
all over the place
mostly thinking about my dad
and those 6 months we had
September to February
and then as i lie there thinking
about that
it dawns on me
that that’s exactly the time-frame
she’s been gone
September to February
and now it’s 5 days
into March
TL
Mindset
Sunday went
and wore off
all the junk food
i ate Saturday
after a year at the gym
sparring the bag
the endurance level is evident
you go in feeling heavy
and leave feeling light
the discipline of life
is in the details
in the habits
in the action
the 1-2 punch
seems like nothing
but it builds
the body back
you can feel your heart beating
you can feel your lungs breathing
you can feel yourself reaching
and returning
to some part of yourself
you forgot
was there
all along
TL
The Day
bought some
new sunglasses
online
and they came in
on time
so i put ‘em on
today
a new shade
to hide the tears
as i sat chewing chips
in the car
then some chocolate
followed by an elephant ear
which is kinda like a giant sugar cookie
‘cept it’s flakey
anyways
the walk earlier wore off
it was supposed to be warmer
today
but there’s a distinct chill
in the air
so the golf i planned to play
in shorts
turned into a turn around town
listening to tunes
thinking the whole time
‘bout food …
like tacos
fried chicken
pizza
fried fish
tacos
stopped to read
for a bit
then stopped
and watched the wind
move
would have went
to a movie
but nothing worth
seeing
in either theatre
so instead
pulled into a park
on the way home
and watched a bunch of kids
kick up the dust
bent on being Beckham
they sure gave it their all
like they do on the regular
there were no cameras
no first place trophy
or cashier’s check
and still they played
like there was no tomorrow
just today
and that made me
smile
as the sun lowered down
somehow …
i muddled through
the way that i do
TL
(March 1, 2025)
Dear Dad,
the snow
has disappeared
now the daffodils
are here
appear and disappear
in each season
you gain something
and you lose something
and the more wonderful it is
the harder it is
to let it go
as you well know
i tend to keep things
too many things
and sometimes those things
hold me back
from living
after you died
the seasons were
the same
until i began
to live again
i’ve experienced a lot
of living
since you’ve been gone
and felt the seasons
change
within
silent are the stars
that stare back at me
and yet i feel you everywhere
in all things
as Roberta Flack once said,
“Love is a song …”
you were my first song
and i guess that’s why
it still hurts
inside
it was wonderful
daffodils in snow
TL
(March 1, 1993)
“Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye …”
was up
wandering around
at 3
and turned on the TV
switching channels
and then the picture changed
Roberta Flack’s face
words on the screen
died yesterday
on a Monday
at home
at peace
hope she heard the keys
as she drifted
away
the beauty of her voice
stays here
TL
The Gift of Love
pulled along
the beaten path
by a puppy new
discovering
its first Spring
in bloom
looking up
at the blue blue sky
bewildered by
the drop of rain
with wonder
he feels it
drip drop
on the tip top
of his halo head
and laughs
TL
Resilient
the sun
gold on the ground
bright in the sky
winking in water
dancing in leaves
showing the rain
the way the wind moves
… on
and through
TL
Potomac
…
they used to
look up
at the sky
and follow
the plane
out of sight
…
they used to
look out
across the water
watching waves
soothed by the sound
…
they used to
look up
at the fireworks
on the Fourth of July
and be amazed
…
they used to
look forward
to January 1
when the New Year
meant a new year
…
they used to
look at
real roses
and think of
Valentine’s
Day
…
but not today
…
in the collective
consciousness
a quiet prayer
…
that by and by
you’ll see more than rain
falling
you’ll see the birds
take flight
and the butterflies
land
and the rainbows
appear
and when you look out
across the silent sea
you’ll see the diamonds
shining free
and feel the wind
within the waves
reaching out
and on the coldest
night of nights
may all the stars
be extra bright
and when you see
a rose
may you see
a rose
and know
it’s real
TL
Love
the kiss
of first snow
you barely even
feel it
it’s a miracle
it’s even here
but from a distant place
above
the ground looked up
and prayed
and a million years went by
and by
and the stars
that no one ever sees
broke way
away
from the night
and floated down
past the sun
a glitter of powder
on the ground
covering all the holes
all the dirt
all the puddles
all the leaves
all the seeds
and without a word
the snow melted
into the ground
and all was green again
as if it always was
just a field
of emerald green
without a trace
of glitter in the air
like a snowflake
that never was
but a rose
knows different
as it looks up
from the ground
and unfolds itself
to see the stars
break way
TL
What’s Within
:
in a drop
of rain
the memory of
a tsunami
a city at the bottom of the sea
:
in a breath
of wind
the memory of
a tornado
a city ripped apart
and the morning after
:
in the light of a cake candle
the memory of
a wildfire
a city lost in ember
at the edge of an ocean
on the brink
of a new year
:
in the heart
of humanity
the will
to re-build
TL
Saturation
on the out
side
I seem to be
fine
I guess
but everyone
seems to be
fine
I guess
when they’re going
through it
whatever it
is
I feel saturated
in sadness
it may be an age thing
for sure
when my dad died
I was still young
but that was the beginning
of endings
and it just feels like
the end of beginnings
now
I suppose this is the time
to try
something new
and unplanned
to immerse myself into
something
anything
other than blue
I’d like to be green again
like spring
a leaf in the sun
but this is
indeed
a landscape of stick trees
the winter of my life
baring down
the acceptance of things
so many things
…
last night
the cat and the dog
trudged together
down the hall
and slept in her room
they know
they jest know
that even though
she’s not there
she’s there
TL
Granny
mourned you
the moment
we met
the first time
i heard you
laugh
and i knew
right then and there
i’d never laugh
like that
again
i knew i was
in trouble
‘cause i knew
i loved you
more
than i let myself
allow
and knowing this
full well
i fell back a bit
a time or two
to put some space
between us
so maybe then
i could survive
the day
the dreaded day
you’d go on
and fly away …
TL
Your Life
freedom is
in realizing
what you already have
within
was born at birth
and that was
more
than enough …
everything else
then
will be but
a bonus
TL
The Change of Time
clouds are moving
across the eye
it’ll rain soon
on a Sunday
in August
September
October
November
December
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
the funeral was
what it was
i never left
beneath the shade
of an old magnolia
the snow fell
that year
a peek of pastel
beneath the leaves
mixed with tinsel
and tea
the spit of watermelon seeds
a trace of wheels in the dirt
the imprint of soles on grass
heavy now
the sound of sirens
in the distance
the crickets at night
the static of the TV
timer’s going off
phone’s ringing
the sliding doors opening
and closing
like the oven
dishes dropping in the sink
loading and unloading
the wash
and it’s Christmas already
Thanksgiving next week
the New Year nearly
then it’s Easter again
somebody’s birthday
the one in August
when the clocks fell back
an hour
less light
in a day
TL