Month: August 2016

This
The mind expands
As the heart bleeds out
This I know

A foot hesitates
Before it drops down
This I know

The rain
Is real
And you have to walk through it
Not around it
This I know

There are times
When it’s just too cold
To feel
What you’re feeling
This I know

The night can last
For all time
Like love, like hate
This I know

The body falls
The mind breaks
But the eyes are wide open
This I know

There is no solace
In the hour of loss
That un-ending hour
This I know

The falling of love
Is all there is …
Like the end of days
That pass through time
This I know
TL

Drifting

the symphony

that is the sea

would that I

lose myself

in thee

TL

Passengers

the things

that disappear

end up where

lids on boxes

are stacked

and shipped

and sent over seas

cargo, freight

loaded and unloaded

stamped: fragile

bubble wrapped

and taped twice

destination unknown

conveyer belt

drops the boxes

down

into the department

of shipping and handling

where all black boxes

go

to unload luggage

unnecessary at customs

the inspection is thorough

and complete

no weight

before departure

TL

A Slow Death

black bird

I see your shadow

on the ground

why would this day

be any different

for you

than any other day

the sky is blue

the wind in your wings

worms after the rain

all the trees are yours

but that’s how it is

you get used to things

as they are

like waking up

ready for bed

and you never hear it

coming

silent as snow

then it’s too late

to cry

or care

the sky so blue

how it felt to fly

when the world was yours

below a dot

just a black dot on cement

like a beetle in the dirt

that tried to crawl away

before it was crunched

into

TL

Coronation

did you

ever hear

a cardinal sing

with an opera chest

and a cone crown

and a red robe

and you forgot

the day

the week

the month

the year

neither dark

nor light

but gray

like the moor

in early morn

laced in silver threads

spun from spools

of spider legs

and the song

had something

knew

something you knew

before

else or any

when even if

the night was long

l o n e l y

you could close

your eyes

and count on it

shield yourself

from harm

within the breath

of dreams

beneath the bough

apart from season

or other things

that change

a child

like how she hears

a cardinal sing

TL

From Old to New

there is blood

on the linoleum

dark and dried

it won’t scrub clean

the girl on her knees

tried

to clean it up

it bothered her

being there

soon as you walked in the door

she saw it

that was the welcome mat

nobody talked about it

that’s how it always was

the morning after

but there was evidence

this time

broken bottles can be swept away

doors can be replaced

like furniture and lamps and dishes and collectibles

holes in the walls can be fixed

like screens and windows and handles

bruises on the skin

can disappear

nights in the ER

stop blinking

yelling and screaming

can quiet down

threatening thunder

can clear like a cloud

knives can be put back in the drawer

chainsaws can be turned off

beers and bottles can be trashed

but a pool of dried blood

on a linoleum floor

won’t evaporate

or dissolve

and the girl stares

at the stain

on her way out

and her way back in

maybe it bothered them, too

years after she left

they got rid of the whole thing

and had something squeaky clean delivered

new locks and doors

new walls and windows

new furniture and floors

all new floors

but they never could quite

get rid of that stain

‘cause it bled on through

TL

Child Abuse

broken bottles

in the ditch

locked my door

went under cover

wished for

anywhere

traveled

book to book

nobody knew

what I really went through

8 to 18

all they saw …

Rah, Rah, Rah

“Most Likely

To Succeed …”

they never saw

a child

always afraid

of the drink

of dark

the girl who

never wanted to

go home

used to say

i got away

told myself

“but they never hurt me …”

only later

would I realize

when they hurt each other

they were hurting me

only later

would I realize

each time they tried

to kill each other

they were killing me

only later

would I realize

the abuse

of sWords

cut the core

of who you are

or ever hope to be

only later

would I realize

a drunk

has no memory

no remorse

not even to this day

only later

would I realize

how deep

the damage …

how torn

the trust …

only later

would I realize

you can only

run so far

only later

would I realize

certain things

only God

can forgive …

(took me 40 years to realize)

TL

Ever After

into the night

swirl the stars

catch the edge of the moon

at the tip of the pyramid

like Rome

from the ground up

a mastering of the mind

what it imagines

in the realm

of thought

the child knows

how it ends

even if the story

changes form

the ending is the same

we long for it

in that first glimpse

of what could be

TL

Papa T

at the bottom

of September

it’ll be a year

your house

in limbo

like we

and I wish

you hadn’t died

like that

there

wasn’t fair

the rage I feel

helpless to help

what do you do with that

it just follows you

in and out the door

and mocks you in the mirror

quiet in the morning

before it all

begins and ends

and circles

back around

again

TL