Month: June 2021

Dying Inside

the woman

at the window

knows my order

12 egg rolls

and a drink

I like it

when things are

consistently good

so, I don’t deviate

set my timer for 15

and walk on over

to the grocery store

to grab what I need

and go

but yellow

stops me

mid-stride

it’s a baby giraffe

I look at him

and grab his little ear

and swipe him through

self-checkout

and stick him

in the passenger seat

then go get my 12 egg rolls

and get back in the car

devouring 4

as fat splats

hit the windshield

I look over at the giraffe

he has a permanent smile

you’d never know if he was sad

my daughter is out there …

somewhere

driving a gray car

with a yellow sticker: Student Driver

Monday was a blur

yesterday

I ate chicken in my car

and cried

I stopped eating chicken

a few years back

later on

I ended up at the range

and chipped a ton of balls down the hill

and whacked the L out of ‘em back up the hill

onto the green

and felt better

today

I bought a balloon

a baby giraffe balloon

that makes me smile

there was a time

when a big balloon

was all she wanted

2 more days to go …

this whole “letting go” thing

jest ain’t my thing

it ain’t my thing

IT AIN”T MY THING

what am I gonna do

tomorrow

and the day after

that

TL

Fare-Thee-Well

with women

there’s always

something

beneath the surface

things we don’t say

things we put away

sometimes, it’s jest

too exhausting

to explain

so, we speak

of simple things

that don’t need much

of an explanation

we stick to our lists

our relentless lists

of things to do

the short list

the long list

the in-between

the maintaining

of it all

some women

make it look

so effortless

the organized ones

the planners with purpose

I admire them their fortitude

women try their best

to maintain

a sense of balance

in an unbalanced world

we do this in degrees

some days better

than others

we recharge by the sea

when possible

drawing strength

in the quiet morning

air

and the twinkle night

of stars

exercising the mind

and body

the very spirit of one’s soul

should be

more than an idea

or an ideal

but rather

a tangible day-to-day

habit of being

that centers ourselves

for whatever

may befall us

such is life

so much joy

and so much sorrow

in the drop

of a tear

that rolls away

like the rain

on a wedding day

a funeral

or a parade

in the garden

where the roses

bud and bloom

and weep

into a dried wreath

that hangs on the door

or the cover of a coffin

to say hello

or goodbye

fare-thee-well

TL

Centering

took to

the trail

meandering

through a glade

and found

the moon

full

of orange marmalade

the fireflies

took a dip

and came up

in sparks

the air held

its breath

on a soft summer night

as bumblebees

floated in pink fields

down every row

never lingering

too long

on a single petal

as if there was a schedule

to keep

the rabbit too

was in such a rush

as it made a mad dash

across my feet

to the underbrush

the heron though

was in no hurry

still as a statue

as it watched the water

ripple forth

ever camera shy

it took off

to a private oasis

its wing a watercolor

brush

framed in a mere

moment of moonlight

etched across waves

I took the portrait

home

and hung it

in the gallery

TL

A Thief in the Night

I went

to get in my car

yesterday

and opened the door

to stuff strewn

and my first thought was

I can’t believe she left it like this

thinking my daughter had rifled through the car

looking for her sunglasses

but she denied it

so my next thought was

I can’t believe he left it like this

thinking my husband had rifled through the car

looking for who-knows-what

but he denied it

then it hit me

somebody done broke in my car!

but they didn’t have to pry the door open

‘cause I leave my doors unlocked

yeah, yeah, yeah

I know

jest one more thing to have to remember to do

now

after I processed the situation

I couldn’t help but laugh

‘cause this guy picked the wrong vehicle

to pocket

when he opened the console

he probably thought to himself

what the L is all this crap!

he was looking for the good stuff

but all he saw  

was a jam-packed mess

of miscellaneous

nothing

not worth a cent on the Internet

or the pawn shop

it was like somebody opening my closet

and getting hit by an avalanche

he didn’t even get to the bottom

he got halfway through the console

and was like

the L with this … I ain’t got time for this!

I mean I’m a little insulted

he gave up that quick

I coulda had a brick of gold

at the bottom of my console

it mighta been plastic

but still

then I got to thinking

about this person

who goes around lifting handles

in driveways

‘til he finds one open

I mean you gotta be in a desperate situation

or something

if you’re going around in the dark of night

checking car doors

from house to house

looking for something to sell

and make a quick buck

it’s a big risk

with little reward

I mean

come on

you could get shot

“in the buttocks”

or put in jail

JAIL

is it really worth it

yeah, no

how do you become

a thief in the night

it doesn’t happen overnight

a series of events

lead to a fork in the road

and you gotta choose quick-like

given your situation

which way to go

if you’ve got nothing to lose

you’ve got nothing to lose

if you’ve got everything to lose

you’ve got everything to lose

it all depends

I hope this guy woke up

this morning thinking

I’m tired of this shhhhhh …

it ain’t worth it

no more

TL

Tell me a Story with a Happy Ending

we are

but a memory

too complex

to be captured

on camera

of places

we’ve been

of people

we’ve met

of moments

too big

to be small

a shared experience

of being

that we carry

within us

all the emotions

that flow

suspended

in time

i’ve looked

in the eyes

of creatures

big and small

who will go

before

or after

they do not dwell

less they’ve outlived

their shell

their exterior being

traveling alone now

lost in the maze of the mind

the sunlight dappling

through the clouds

running like a child

through the rain

we meet at the river

and watch the leaves fall

from sticks

and sail away

quiet

unto the sea

it was good to be here

with you

and all the memories

stacked like books

too many to read

at once

the pages blur together

blank

like the beginning

before there was a word

a story … to tell

and remember

TL

The Legacy of Mr. Moore

from time

to time

over the years

I’ve thought of

Mr. Moore

and his gentle nature

he was one of my favorite

teachers

of all time

he never taught me math

or English

or history

or science

or Spanish

or health

or how to hit a ball

or score a point

or make a meal

he taught me instead

patience

he would sit over there

on the passenger side

and calmly guide me

onto the roadway

I loved to make him laugh

so I’d purposely step on the gas

to get his reaction

he always laughed

and tried to scold me

with a straight face

we laughed a lot

together

with me behind the wheel

and him hitting the brake

now

it makes me cry when I think of him

sitting over there so patient

and encouraging

and calm

he had that Mr. Rogers vibe about him

he was so kind

to all of us

none of us really knew what we were doing

but he could see our potential

I’ve been thinking of Mr. Moore a lot

of late

as I sit on the passenger seat

pressing my foot to the floorboard

like he did

I’m not quite as calm

as Mr. Moore

but I think he’d be proud of me

and definitely proud of her

she got her learner’s permit Tuesday

and by 6:15am the next morning

she was driving me all the way

to the MALL

I cannot put into words how that felt

I lie awake at night thinking

maybe I dreamed that

alas

time moves on

and on

and on

when I click my seatbelt

into place

I smile

and think of Mr. Moore

he was all about safety first

talked a lot about it

and I’d just laugh

and hit the gas

my daughter and I

are like hyenas

thumping along

to her music

through every neighborhood

in town

Mr. Moore never played music

when he was teaching

but I feel like

he’s in the backseat

laughing along with us

enjoying the beat

with his seatbelt

firmly in place

TL