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Month: March 2018

Dear Dad,

Dear Dad,

once a year

I open the latches

on the suitcase

I carry

and take out the albums

and turn the pages

the man I remember

is there

the child I was

looks back at me

there are no baby pictures

just an orphan shot

of a toddler

standing in black and white

then sitting beside you

on an airplane

headed home

new photos would fill the frame

in color

those early years

while only a handful

would live inside me

unspoken

until your passing

when your heart exploded

mine did, too

I picked a Midler song:

“Wind Beneath My Wings”

and tried to go on

I think I loved you

a little too much

is all

I know you’re still here

with me

that you never left me

my hair is slowly turning gray

I call them my highlights

before long

we’ll be the same age

I can still see you

clearly

the way you were

and I don’t need a photograph

for that

TL

Parallel

Parallel

a ray of light

laced through the leaves

of two sequoia trees

and somewhere between

the gift and the sea

the storm broke

momentarily

as thunder and lightning

subsided

and tornado winds

stilled

a gentle rain

fell down

like the sunlight

through the cloud

soft and hazy

TL

That I Loved You

That I Loved You

25 years ago

today

your death

would change me

change the course of my life

and maybe I’ll never understand

the why

all I know is

you called me that night

right before

and we talked for the last time

you were just getting off work

and would be home any minute

that’s the thing about minutes

they never stop ticking

you can fall in love

and get married

and you can find yourself

a l o n e

pacing the floor at night

‘cause he’s late coming home

waiting is the worst

10 years can go by

and you become somebody’s mom

and you realize

this beautiful baby

has the power

to break you

like nothing else

could

and the minutes keep ticking

for all of your life

the minutes keep ticking

you can live through the hardest times

and accept what you’re afraid of

understand what’s out of your hands

that pacing the floor is part of it

part of loving someone so much

is the part I struggle to find

how to let them go

knowing what I know

some of us get to grow old

and some of us

do not

the whole of life

is in this moment

would that I never forget

in the dark of night

the lonely hour

pacing the floor

waiting …

would that I never forget

TL