as i am
when i was
a child
i disappeared
inside myself
and locked the door
it was a way to cope
with the uncontrollable
circumstances i found myself in
i felt like a prisoner
time forgot
and it didn’t matter where i went
or what i achieved
or what dreams i had
i couldn’t escape
even when i physically had
moved out and on
the inner child
was still stuck
in uncontrollable circumstances
beyond my control
my need for control in all things
is apparent
I crave simplicity
simple things like taking a walk
i took a lot of walks growing up
i felt at peace in nature
there was connection there
an unspoken truth
i knew no matter how dark the night
the sun would rise in the morning
i knew that daffodils would go away and come back again
like the monarchs
i knew the trees offered shade and strength
i knew the sun would kiss the water
and diamonds would appear
like stars in the sky
i knew the wind would fill me
the rain renew me
the sunlight sustain me
these were things i could count on
things that didn’t require
anything of me
for they were free
those were the gifts
He gave
to me
TL