Before or After
having lived
two lives
very different
from the other
i’ve often wondered
how the perspective
changes
in the light of time
how you view the world
in the sequence of time
if hardship came early
you carry it your whole life
through
verses
when hardship comes later in life
you carry it not as long
but may not be equipped
for the weight of it
especially if
never faced with shattering things
before
on the other hand
if faced with suffering
while still a child
expectations tend to fall away
when not met
early on
this creates a conditioning within a child
if faced with too much
too soon
children are not adults
they are not equipped to carry the weight
of it
and yet so many did
and so many do
and so many will
and i wish it wasn’t so
if you survive a traumatic childhood
you will spend the rest of your life
either healing
from it
or running away
from it
and if you’re an adult
who never faced hard things
before
but now feel overwhelmed
at every turn
it can be unbearable
at times
to the point of self-sabotage
whether it’s drinking or drugs
or other things
if coping mechanisms
are not in place
the result is the result
a room can stay dark
for a long time
if you don’t reach up
and switch on the light
real change
starts real small
in the smallest thing
you can find meaning
it’s there in the routine
the daily routine
of mundane things
where you’d least expect it
to be …
if you have no soap
but you’re grateful
for water …
and if you have
no water
but you know
one day
it will
r
a
i
n
TL