Belief
we met
in fifth grade
he had probably
been taught to be nice
to the kids who look lonely
and pathetic
i had been sitting on the bleachers
by myself
when he walked up to me
one day
and sat beside me
he was very confident
and easy to talk to
he made straight As
and was born and bred to bleed
Crimson
he knew nothing about me
or what i’d been through
by the time i met him
i had already experienced
so much trauma and heartache
and loss
4 years prior
i never told him any of that
he just saw the surface things
he would become my best friend
over the years
and the most influential person
i knew back then
he was a high achiever
with natural leadership abilities
and all of a sudden
here was this kid
with so much potential
believing in me
at a time when i had lost all belief
in anything good
i was held back in third grade
and again in fifth grade
not because i was stupid
but because a bitter divorce
would leave its scars
and a huge void
after my father moved away
leaving me in an emotionally abusive environment
fueled by domestic violence and alcohol
i felt like i had lost everything
the dream of having a family
was gone
i didn’t care about anything
anymore
especially school
but it takes just one person
to believe in you
to change your course
and that’s what he did for me
i went from Fs to As
i wanted to impress him
so, i rose to his level
or tried to
looking back
I realize
I expected way too much from him
expected him to fill all this emptiness and sorrow
inside me
when nobody can do that
for anybody
you gotta do that for yourself
a fifth grader just wants to fit in
and belong
and that’s what his friendship did for me
and I will always
be grateful
that somehow i met him
at such a critical time
in my life
when i needed stability
something to hold on to
he balanced out all the bad stuff
and made me believe
i could do anything
be anything
belief is
and always will be
a powerful thing
thank you
TL