Author: Tamiko Lowery

Admitting is the First Step

I have a thing

for things

lots of things

apparently

I used to think

I didn’t

have a thing

for things

but things have

taken hold

and if I love it

forget it

I’ll take 10

it’s been

a gradual thing

this collection

of excess

this immersion

of stuff

I don’t like it

this feeling

of being taken

it’s a process

like most of life

to figure it out

the why of it

all

and make sense

of the what ifs

what if I didn’t

need that … anymore

what if I could just

let it go

give it away

set it by the road

even if it had a hold

I could jest let it go

right

WRONG

yeah, I’m shaking my head

no

as I’m looking at the things

all the pretty things on my desk

it’s a negative no

I wouldn’t say I’m a hoarder

I’ve watched those shows

but I look around

and realize

I have a lot of stuff

I really don’t need

but so much of it

I love

and as you get older

you tend to acquire

more of it

more of the stuff you love

things of beauty

are a weakness

things of comfort

even more

how many cardigans

does one person really need

A LOT

cardigans are like a safety blanket

like Linus, I like to feel secure at all times

wherever I go

wherever I am

‘cause ‘ya never know

how cold it could get

it could sleet

it could snow

it could ice over

be prepared for anything

and everything

TL

On the Eve of October

the shadows

are trembling

in the wind

as leaves twirl

to the ground

pass the pumpkins

on the sidewalk

footballs in the air

campers are rolling in

hunters are rolling out

boots and blue jeans

caramel and spice

hikers and bikers

wearing out the trail

like jeeps on the road

and golfers on the green

it’s getting cooler

in degrees

and the band

is playing

something upbeat

to drown out

the loss

TL

At the Bottom of a Sole

on the outside

looking in

I guess it depends

on the view

on how you view things

at the window

complex things

internally and externally

that affect the world

the world view

it can feel overwhelming

what’s at stake

too much on the table

too many fingers pointing

outward

there is a forgetting

when lines are drawn

and shields go up

basic things

get scattered

and everywhere you look

a mess

the mind shifts away

from early lessons

first steps

in the soles of another

how can you know

how it feels

if you’ve never worn heels

or boots

or moccasins

or patent leather

or plastic holes

or sequin slippers

or flops

or flats

or tracks

or sandals

or suede

or fins

or wedges

or steel toe

or combat

or tactical

or uniform

or casts

or surgical socks

or second-hand

or bags

or bandage

or bare

it’s hard to judge

a life

you’ve never stepped

a foot in

so why do we do

standing ignorant

in our own

set of shoes

TL

Deer

late on the green

putted ‘til the sun went down

‘til the cups faded into the field

Hogan’s quote about daylight

thinking how true

it ‘twas

as I headed home

in the dark

down

a

long

and

winding

road

feeling

relaxed

and

re-charged

when

out

of

the

dark

a

flash

of

light

hits

a

baby

deer

limping

fast

toward

me

I

swerve

left

to

miss

him

and

it

musta

startled

him

‘cause

he

fell

down

on

the

road

just

like

Bambi

did

on

the

ice

but

he

musta

got

right

back

up

‘cause

I

never

saw

his

body

any

where

on

the

road

or

the

side

of

the

road

I

never

saw

him

any

where

on

that

long

and

winding

road

but

I

see

him

in

the

dark

limping

fast

toward

me

TL

In the Middle of

there was

an apple on the desk

uneaten

there were tickets in the drawer

unused

there was an appointment on the books

unmade

there was a project in three phases

unphased

there were messages left on the phone

unreturned

there were stacks of mail in the box

unopened

there was packaged lunch in the frig

unpackaged

there were endless emails

unclicked

there were papers and files and faxes

unread

there were books on break

unturned

there was a sentence in a line

unfinished

there were flowers in a vase

untaken

there were things, so many things left

undone

there was the goodbye

the abrupt goodbye

so final

so surreal

unaccepted

TL

Think

to have

an original

t h o u g h t

is where

imagination

lives

TL

The Little Prince*

in my time

i have read

a bit

of books

and re-read

stacks

that took

a hold

and it’s

interesting how

a

small

slim

bit of

a book

written so well

and illustrated

so close

can perhaps be

the biggest book

one ever reads

or re-reads

TL

Perfection

if you

really love

a rose

everything about it

then let it

be beautiful

as it was

don’t tear the stem

out of the ground

and stick it in a vase

and put it in a room

and wonder why

it never bloomed

when it could have been

so beautiful

had it come back

year after year

TL

Quiet Morning

a little bird

with a blue tail

came in for a landing

on a patch of grass

I was staring hard at

the little bird

just stood there

staring up at me

with a tilted head

and then it flew up

from the grass

to the top of the stone

first to the left

it perched

then flew over to the right

and perched

then it took off

for the horizon

TL

No Beginning No End

inside

the circle

of grief

there are

grains

that never

f

a

l

l

and you sit

in all this sand

the ocean in your eyes

a day becomes

the rest of it

and you can’t explain

why

you weren’t there

when your body sat in the seat

and stood up

and walked around

that first year

you adjust to the silence

pick through the memories

stare at the photograph

love is a living thing

circular

TL

Worth It

to have a

sense of self

of self-worth

is something

some nurtured

in childhood

with the right care

and consideration

daily affirmation

but not all children

grow up that way

in the warmth of the sun

some are left fighting for it

in the dark

and only find it

much latter in life

while others struggle

their whole life

in an on-going cycle

of inner unrest

the evidence is massive

prisons are overrun with it

suicides are at an all-time high

drug-overdoses are not just hard-core stuff

but an addiction to painkillers

obesity is taking over more than the body

alcohol addiction is not a cure for pain

but an excuse to escape

social media is messing with young minds

women and men are paralyzed in abusive relationships

that affect their children

long-term

abusive parents scar their children for life

physical abuse can heal over time

but emotional abuse is something else

young people are running away from abusive homes

and ending up on dead-end streets

in the worst way

it can affect

the sense of self

of self-worth

it’s easier to repeat a pattern

than create something entirely new

it’s easier to give up

to just give up

it’s easier to fill the emptiness

with drugs

with alcohol

with sex

with food

with stuff

it’s easier to bully behind a screen

and support human degradation

it’s easier to stay in an unhealthy relationship

than to believe you deserve better

it’s easier to put your pain on someone else

than to examine the root cause

of it

it’s easier to stay the same way

than to change

it’s harder to change

it requires more

of the self

the inner self

that’s constantly searching

for worth in the world

in worldly things

but can only be found

within

that’s where real change

begins

there is always a choice

in the darkest moment

of your life

you’re given a choice

to either change

or remain the same

TL

Unplanned

in the after

noon

there’s a party

unplanned

that everybody’s

invited to

and without

prompting

or promise

they bring gifts

to the party

unplanned

like laughter

that follows

a Frisbee

it’s everywhere

the boy with the ball

the girl with her boyfriend

the guy with his cooler

the woman with her book

the toddler but a blur

the old man in his chair

the old lady with her shells

the teenagers with their music

the joggers and the surfers and the peddlers

the snorkelers and the gliders

the parachutes and the planes

the boats and the kayaks

the fishermen and the fisherwomen

the castle builders and the castle crashers

the sunbathers and the shaders

the photographers and the posers

the volleyballs and the footballs

the kites and the pails

the cold drinks and the finger food

dripping dogs and snow cones

the smell of coconut

and seaweed

and somebody’s cigarette

drifting toward the pink clouds

overhead

outdistanced by the sun

over the sea

going

going

going

going

going

going

g

o

n

e

TL

Saltwater

with the sun

still low

i walked

away

down

the shore

line

watching waves

roll in

and listening to them

sink

against the sand

then quiet

they crawl

back into

the blue

TL

The Sea

after some

time

you forget

the sailboat

was there

drifting by

with its paper

sail

TL

Petals

the dying

of humanity

is clearly

in not caring

to consider

the sorrow

of another’s

suffering

as suffering

unto one

TL

Boxing Bag

as time goes on

and you get older

looking over your shoulder

and in the mirror

and what’s ahead

and what’s over

it can be a lot

to deal with

some people drink

a lot

some people eat

a lot

some people smoke

a lot

some people sleep

a lot

some people sleep

around

a lot

some people pop pills

a lot

some people shop

a lot

some people whine

a lot

some people blame

a lot

some people judge

a lot

some people hate

a lot

some people yell

a lot

some people hit

a lot

some people hurt

a lot

it can be a lot

instead of self-imploding

self-loathing

or taking it out on others

get yourself a pair

of boxing gloves

and find a boxing bag

and learn how to throw a proper punch

pick a song (NF) and put it in your ears

and disappear

5 minutes later

10 minutes later

15 minutes later

20 minutes later

25 minutes later

30 minutes later

an hour later

it won’t be as heavy

whatever it is

and you’ll feel

a whole lot

lighter

TL

Move On

“do as I say,

not as I do”

ain’t that

what I always say

to you

“do as I say,

not as I do”

I’m for real

though

kid

I don’t ever want you to be

like me

I want you to be

like you

I want you to be

free

and unafraid

to live your life

full out

living in fear

is no way to live

at all

some people

just exist

subside

and find it hard

to face their fears

there can be many reasons for it

too many

but excuses are excuses

make no excuses for your life

and how you live it

take responsibility when you’re wrong

and move on

if somebody wrongs you

I hope you figure out how to forgive ‘em

and move on

life is not black and white

it’s not just good

and it’s not just bad

look for the silver

lining

understand the situation

whatever it is

and think

don’t ever nod

if you don’t agree

don’t ever laugh

if you don’t find it funny

don’t shrink

or diminish

or forget

why you’re here

that you’re never your career

or just somebody’s something

you have a purpose

a gift to give

a gift you were given

a way to make it better

than you found it

make it better

please, make it better

and move on

TL

Careless

to read only

one page

one paper

one view

one way

is like looking at

a palatial palace

with stately gardens

and never going inside

to see the broken glass

to read only

one page

one paper

one view

one way

is like looking at

a rundown shack

with no grass growing

and never going inside

to see the crystal vase

full of flowers

to read only

one page

one paper

one view

one way

is like looking at

a beautiful bridge

with water on each side

and never going under it

to see the person living there

to read only

one page

one paper

one view

one way

is like looking at

the land

flat and rolling

and never grasping

all the graves

out there

without markers

or laurel

TL

Create Space

I peel back

the curtains

and the room is empty

I walk around

and get a feel

I pick a spot to sit down

and watch the window change

its picture

the way the lights switch

in the sky

I go to sleep

and wake up

and it’s just how I imagined

it would be

when the room was

empty

TL

Wonderland

in the snow

I saw a rabbit once

so fast it made no tracks

so white it was the snow

but the eyes looked at me

right through

a familiar shade of blue

and I wanted to

follow it and see

wherever it might go

but I blinked

TL