In Memory
in the fade
of flowers
she lost her ring
the one he never
got to give her
for they waited too long
to decide
thinking tomorrow
but the baby was never born
and the story of their life
was never lived
cut short
at the stem
a field of flowers
cut short at the stem
on a day
much like today
TL
White Roses
21 years
after the song
first hit the airway
and 10 years after
the songwriter died
I heard it
for the first time
today
on the way home …
thank you Harley Allen for writing it
and thank you John Michael Montgomery
for singing it
for The Little Girl …
TL
When it Rains
throw some
glitter in the air
and watch it fall
unmelted snow
on the ground
like sand in the sun
a thousand lights at Christmas
reflected on wet pavement
in the eye of a sailor
who can’t go home
sequins stitched on the sea
gather in the sky
a twinkle in the dark
I heard you whisper
and say
don’t go …
so we danced
under the glitter
of trees
and forgot about the time
running in the rain
like nothing ends
specks stuck
to the windshield
some in your hair
the rest got swept away
I see it
everywhere
TL
His Beloved Son Steve
he can’t
just
get up
and go get in his truck
and drive
he can’t
just
go get on his tractor
and roll around the field
he can’t
just
go wherever he wants to go
whenever he wants to go
his body won’t
allow it
so he sits
and watches squirrels
try to get in the feeder
he sits
and watches hummingbirds
fly in formation
he sits
and watches Monarch butterflies
go by
he sits
and watches the wind
blowing through the trees
he sits
and watches the rain
as it falls
and dries
and gives all his plants
what they need
he’s a farmer in his heart of hearts
and understands
the nature of things
how each crop
has its own season
in its own time
TL
Her Beloved Son Steve
yesterday
a cardinal
appeared
at her doorway
in the blur
she could see it
staring back at her
unafraid
it offered her a sense
of peace
as it stood there
in the stillness
of the morning ray
without a word
it said
what she needed most
to hear
it remained unmoved
‘til the message
was clear
in the fullness of her grief
she felt the lift
of wings
TL
Make Do
they’ve been building
something big
over there
over yonder
massive amounts of dirt
being hauled and dumped and shoved around
and dug
into a giant pool of mud
full of rain
where this floating bird
can be seen from the roadway
drifting serenely by
as if it were a white swan
gliding across a golden pond
at sunset
instead of early in the morning
with motorized machinery
rolling round and round
and a steady stream of traffic
headed to town
this floating bird
pays it no mind
never questioning how a pond
just up and appeared
one day
on land it waddled on
it doesn’t waste a second
wondering how or when or why
it just steps in
and feels relieved
from the humid heat
and tired feet
TL
Summer in September
what were
jest seeds
in May
turned into
watermelons
by September
it gets me every time
how given the right conditions
and the right amount of time
something like that can grow
from a speck of seed
the first one cracked open
wasn’t ready
but the second one
was
there’s something so satisfying
in that first glimpse
of red
they say you gotta roll the melons over
and check the bottom
for a tinge of yellow
fore it’s ready
to roll
ruby ready
TL
Collecting Coins
…
he waited
‘til he’d cleared
the room
the door
and was down the hall
safely down the hall
before he broke
d
o
w
n
it was too much
all too much
for 13
let alone 42
he’s counting coins
staying connected
reaching out
to repetition
the rhythm of repetition
the soothing lull
of clinking coins
he’ll never stop
counting
…
puts one
in his pocket
to keep close
just enough to touch
a two-sided-coin
there’s always two sides
he’d drop ‘em all in the fountain
if he could
if it meant
she’d come back
he looks up at the sky
wondering why …
down every road
he’ll carry the why …
when things don’t add up
and nothing makes sense
you start the count over
it’s easy to get lost
counting
…
you can lose your place
somewhere
in the beginning
in the middle
in the end
and have to start all over
again
but that’s ok
the total changes
over time
with addition and subtraction
new coins, lost coins, old coins, missing coins
silver
copper
gold
the count changes
becoming less
becoming more
keep counting kid
…
don’t ever stop
TL
Sophomore Year
it’s 3:03
in the morning
got up at 1
thinking it was 5
went back to bed
with eyes wide
this is how it was
when she was 5
the night before
she went off
to pre-school
couldn’t sleep
then either
in about 4 and half hours
she’ll be driving
to school
she’s a good driver
thanks to Mr. Dill
I sit on the passenger side
feeling older than I am
Cinderella’s been driving me around
in her modern-day pumpkin
fer 2 months now
preparing …
for this
the first day back
to school
I can hear the bell ringing
TL
Just Away
if you haven’t
a sense
of humor
I haven’t a want
of you
too much of life
is through
not around
or about
under or over
but through
and getting through
it
is a kind of death
as it were
where you die
but don’t die
be it the night
I search your face
for a sunny day
an unplanned split
lift of the lips
that gives way
a way
just away
TL
Emotion
it’s raining
in the woods
and hasn’t let up
the leaves are greener
for it
the roses never looked
as full
the blades of grass
cannot be cut close enough
the bark is black
its ridges gobbling drops
this weather is unwrung
for wings of fancy
and wind-blown strands
the mushrooms pop up
like umbrellas
you’d never know
a turtle was beneath
all the pinecones are wrapped up
tight
the puddles have submerged
the clouds cross
and disappear
the rain is singing its song
the toads seem to enjoy it
the worms are dancing
in mud
someone’s best day
is someone else’s worst
the greatest joy
is connected
to the greatest sorrow
within and without
TL
Self-Imprisoned
there’s a dad
in Oklahoma
who wishes
on every star
in the night sky
that he could go back
in time
he would give anything
in the world
to go back
to that moment when
there was still a choice …
he would’ve never
ever
done cocaine
he would’ve walked away
just walked away
but he can’t go back
in time
what’s done is done
his 4-year-old daughter
and 3-year-old son
aren’t coming back
he keeps looking for them
in his dreams
but the reality is
he found them
in his truck
last summer
after waking from his cocaine-induced slumber
he was sentenced yesterday
in their deaths
serving six or less
but when he gets out
it won’t matter
where he goes
or what he does
he’ll always wake up
in a panic
looking for his children
TL
Eeyore
eye an empty
treadmill
and step on
and go
at this stage
the weight ain’t
the only thing
I’m trying
to get off me
not even close
left
right
and center
there’s always
something
to dodge
rather see it coming
‘ya know
before it knocks me out
cold
hope nobody behind me
on this here treadmill
‘cause they might get hit
in the face
with all the lies
the ones they look ‘ya in the eye
pick up the pace
skip that song
need something more
fitting
that’s better
feel like bricks
on my feet
brownies are flying
1
2
3
4
cookies with chocolate
hit the floor
bowls of alfredo
and stew
and microwave goo
bags of crunch
salty, sweet
and sour
too much sugar
too much salt
and that was jest
yesterday
last week was not pretty
but this morning
I got back on the horsey
more like the mule
a 2-mile hike
trudging to the top
so worth it
the air is lighter
easier to breathe
TL
Dying Inside
the woman
at the window
knows my order
12 egg rolls
and a drink
I like it
when things are
consistently good
so, I don’t deviate
set my timer for 15
and walk on over
to the grocery store
to grab what I need
and go
but yellow
stops me
mid-stride
it’s a baby giraffe
I look at him
and grab his little ear
and swipe him through
self-checkout
and stick him
in the passenger seat
then go get my 12 egg rolls
and get back in the car
devouring 4
as fat splats
hit the windshield
I look over at the giraffe
he has a permanent smile
you’d never know if he was sad
my daughter is out there …
somewhere
driving a gray car
with a yellow sticker: Student Driver
Monday was a blur
yesterday
I ate chicken in my car
and cried
I stopped eating chicken
a few years back
later on
I ended up at the range
and chipped a ton of balls down the hill
and whacked the L out of ‘em back up the hill
onto the green
and felt better
today
I bought a balloon
a baby giraffe balloon
that makes me smile
there was a time
when a big balloon
was all she wanted
2 more days to go …
this whole “letting go” thing
jest ain’t my thing
it ain’t my thing
IT AIN”T MY THING
what am I gonna do
tomorrow
and the day after
that
TL
Fare-Thee-Well
with women
there’s always
something
beneath the surface
things we don’t say
things we put away
sometimes, it’s jest
too exhausting
to explain
so, we speak
of simple things
that don’t need much
of an explanation
we stick to our lists
our relentless lists
of things to do
the short list
the long list
the in-between
the maintaining
of it all
some women
make it look
so effortless
the organized ones
the planners with purpose
I admire them their fortitude
women try their best
to maintain
a sense of balance
in an unbalanced world
we do this in degrees
some days better
than others
we recharge by the sea
when possible
drawing strength
in the quiet morning
air
and the twinkle night
of stars
exercising the mind
and body
the very spirit of one’s soul
should be
more than an idea
or an ideal
but rather
a tangible day-to-day
habit of being
that centers ourselves
for whatever
may befall us
such is life
so much joy
and so much sorrow
in the drop
of a tear
that rolls away
like the rain
on a wedding day
a funeral
or a parade
in the garden
where the roses
bud and bloom
and weep
into a dried wreath
that hangs on the door
or the cover of a coffin
to say hello
or goodbye
fare-thee-well
TL
Centering
took to
the trail
meandering
through a glade
and found
the moon
full
of orange marmalade
the fireflies
took a dip
and came up
in sparks
the air held
its breath
on a soft summer night
as bumblebees
floated in pink fields
down every row
never lingering
too long
on a single petal
as if there was a schedule
to keep
the rabbit too
was in such a rush
as it made a mad dash
across my feet
to the underbrush
the heron though
was in no hurry
still as a statue
as it watched the water
ripple forth
ever camera shy
it took off
to a private oasis
its wing a watercolor
brush
framed in a mere
moment of moonlight
etched across waves
I took the portrait
home
and hung it
in the gallery
TL
A Thief in the Night
I went
to get in my car
yesterday
and opened the door
to stuff strewn
and my first thought was
I can’t believe she left it like this
thinking my daughter had rifled through the car
looking for her sunglasses
but she denied it
so my next thought was
I can’t believe he left it like this
thinking my husband had rifled through the car
looking for who-knows-what
but he denied it
then it hit me
somebody done broke in my car!
but they didn’t have to pry the door open
‘cause I leave my doors unlocked
yeah, yeah, yeah
I know
jest one more thing to have to remember to do
now
after I processed the situation
I couldn’t help but laugh
‘cause this guy picked the wrong vehicle
to pocket
when he opened the console
he probably thought to himself
what the L is all this crap!
he was looking for the good stuff
but all he saw
was a jam-packed mess
of miscellaneous
nothing
not worth a cent on the Internet
or the pawn shop
it was like somebody opening my closet
and getting hit by an avalanche
he didn’t even get to the bottom
he got halfway through the console
and was like
the L with this … I ain’t got time for this!
I mean I’m a little insulted
he gave up that quick
I coulda had a brick of gold
at the bottom of my console
it mighta been plastic
but still
then I got to thinking
about this person
who goes around lifting handles
in driveways
‘til he finds one open
I mean you gotta be in a desperate situation
or something
if you’re going around in the dark of night
checking car doors
from house to house
looking for something to sell
and make a quick buck
it’s a big risk
with little reward
I mean
come on
you could get shot
“in the buttocks”
or put in jail
JAIL
is it really worth it
yeah, no
how do you become
a thief in the night
it doesn’t happen overnight
a series of events
lead to a fork in the road
and you gotta choose quick-like
given your situation
which way to go
if you’ve got nothing to lose
you’ve got nothing to lose
if you’ve got everything to lose
you’ve got everything to lose
it all depends
I hope this guy woke up
this morning thinking
I’m tired of this shhhhhh …
it ain’t worth it
no more
TL
Tell me a Story with a Happy Ending
we are
but a memory
too complex
to be captured
on camera
of places
we’ve been
of people
we’ve met
of moments
too big
to be small
a shared experience
of being
that we carry
within us
all the emotions
that flow
suspended
in time
i’ve looked
in the eyes
of creatures
big and small
who will go
before
or after
they do not dwell
less they’ve outlived
their shell
their exterior being
traveling alone now
lost in the maze of the mind
the sunlight dappling
through the clouds
running like a child
through the rain
we meet at the river
and watch the leaves fall
from sticks
and sail away
quiet
unto the sea
it was good to be here
with you
and all the memories
stacked like books
too many to read
at once
the pages blur together
blank
like the beginning
before there was a word
a story … to tell
and remember
TL
The Legacy of Mr. Moore
from time
to time
over the years
I’ve thought of
Mr. Moore
and his gentle nature
he was one of my favorite
teachers
of all time
he never taught me math
or English
or history
or science
or Spanish
or health
or how to hit a ball
or score a point
or make a meal
he taught me instead
patience
he would sit over there
on the passenger side
and calmly guide me
onto the roadway
I loved to make him laugh
so I’d purposely step on the gas
to get his reaction
he always laughed
and tried to scold me
with a straight face
we laughed a lot
together
with me behind the wheel
and him hitting the brake
now
it makes me cry when I think of him
sitting over there so patient
and encouraging
and calm
he had that Mr. Rogers vibe about him
he was so kind
to all of us
none of us really knew what we were doing
but he could see our potential
I’ve been thinking of Mr. Moore a lot
of late
as I sit on the passenger seat
pressing my foot to the floorboard
like he did
I’m not quite as calm
as Mr. Moore
but I think he’d be proud of me
and definitely proud of her
she got her learner’s permit Tuesday
and by 6:15am the next morning
she was driving me all the way
to the MALL
I cannot put into words how that felt
I lie awake at night thinking
maybe I dreamed that
alas
time moves on
and on
and on
when I click my seatbelt
into place
I smile
and think of Mr. Moore
he was all about safety first
talked a lot about it
and I’d just laugh
and hit the gas
my daughter and I
are like hyenas
thumping along
to her music
through every neighborhood
in town
Mr. Moore never played music
when he was teaching
but I feel like
he’s in the backseat
laughing along with us
enjoying the beat
with his seatbelt
firmly in place
TL
The Secret to Happiness
it was
your birthday
not mine
but you gave me
a gift
then another one
that you knew
I’d love
spending some of the money
daddy gave you
to spend on yourself
you spent on me
I was so surprised …
I thought it was a joke
and as you watched me
open each one
with tears
I could see how happy you were
for me
TL