Dear Dad,
we never talked
about this
and I guess
I’m only now
facing it
even though
you’ve been dead
30 years in March
it’s hard to say
i was
never angry
you left
i never blamed you
for any of it
but I realize
now
that your leaving …
and never coming back
was damaging
to my soul
it affected
every single relationship
i would ever have
from childhood to adulthood
when someone says
they love me
i don’t believe ‘em
‘ya know
it’s just automatic
i don’t think i ever
understood
what that means
or what it would mean
to the child left …
to the adult …
I think it’s important
to acknowledge it
though
even if it changes
nothing
you’re still gone
it doesn’t change
that
or how much I love you
nothing could ever
change that
you gave me the best of you
while with me
and when you weren’t
i would imagine
you were
I think I still
do that
got behind this car
the other day
and took a picture of the tag
93 Mike
it was right after that movie …
like it was a sign
that you’re still here
that you never left
that you were always with me
through it all
but you already knew that
right
TL