Month: October 2023

Through and Through

maybe

the journey

for each

one of us

who is born

and lives

and dies

has something

to do

with a returning

of who you were

before

life had a say

in it

before

you got hurt

before

you put the armor on

before

you put the face on

before

you walked away

from innocence

the innocence

of a child

the one who lives

within

each one of us

we forget this

in the process

of building a life

we forget

but in twilight years

we reach out

to this forgotten child

inside

and we see

what we could not see

and we feel

what we could not feel

and we know

what we could not know

until

we crossed that clearing

and moved further along

the path

of understanding

true understanding

that tells us

in the quiet

at the close of day

there is a morning

after

in every ending …

there is a beginning …

a transition

that is circular

TL

Britney Spears

through tears

i just finished

reading your book

and i believe

it will help heal

not only you

but countless others

around the world

who have suffered

and survived

unimaginable things

in life

but can still find joy

in the smallest of things

and pure peace

within

the peace that

makes you strong …

stronger than you thought

you could ever be

TL

(“I look at the fact that I survived

and I think, That wasn’t me;

that was God.” – page 236 – The Woman in Me)

The Internal and External

in the way

of the world

all things connect

never more so

than in nature

where the language

and meaning

are unspoken

but felt

the deepest

beneath the vastness

of the ocean

the endlessness of the sky

the other side of the sea

it travels in a raindrop

that reaches the seed

and finds the sun

it is ever in the wind

that carries time

marking the seasons

the lift and fall

of leaves

the tumble of stones

in the riverbed

the wearing away of all prints

like grass over dirt

like shells in the water

like trees in a storm

that stand

a hundred years

or more

like smoke from a fire

that dresses the wind

but a moment

like stars in the sky

that twinkle

like rain in the morning

the dew on grass

the earth is ever moving

and still

it can be both

moving and still

at the same time

here

or there

TL

Life Lessons

despite

my circumstances

growing up

i did not dwell

or feel sorry

for myself

it’s almost like

i chose to live

an inward life

or maybe i didn’t choose

maybe it was just a natural instinct

i don’t know

i just remember

always looking at the bright side

of dark things

whether it was in people

or in circumstances

or in situations

when you’re young

i think you’re more resilient

in a way that is different

from an adult

during the pandemic

as a grown adult

I actually felt

sorry for myself

which was not me

not my nature

but all of a sudden

I could feel this hatred

radiating from strangers

wherever I went

wherever I’d go

it got to the point

where I did not want to leave the house

not from fear of getting sick

but from what people thought of me

at a glance

this is when I first met Amazon

and had groceries delivered to my door

I’d lie awake in tears

hiding my pain

it hurt so much

it still does

but knowing what to expect

helps

the first few times

I was unprepared for the pain

it is better to know

what you’re dealing with

from the get-go

I thought I was stronger

than that

had been through enough

stuff

but to walk through a parking lot

and into a grocery store

any store

and be openly hated

and avoided

and blamed

for being Asian in America

was something I had never fully felt

before

the hate was hidden before

but no more

I’ve always known that if there was a war

between the US and an Asian country

what to expect

but the pandemic

caught me off-guard

hatred is a learned thing

from generation to generation

but so is love

TL

Wallpaper

the pattern

on the wall

is cracked

and peeled

remember when

it was

a simple sample

shot

in a book

with too many squares

but an eye

of discern

a glimpse of

possibility

that could dress

a room

cradle a crib

light a kitchen

run down the hall

open and close the door

rest and wake

wake and rest

make a mistake

maybe a zillion

and one

but we never did

did we

pick a pattern

‘cause someone preferred paint

the other paper

white walls stood

instead

in every room

without a word

letting the paintings

speak

for an artist

still in stages

who started out

in print

small prints

cracked

and peeled

and full of color

a mixture of paint

and paper

TL