Month: February 2024

Departure

it’s late

I hear

footsteps

not pitter-patter

the light

turns on

in the hall

and the door closes

masking the light

and I hear

the click of the lock

and the water

starts hammering out

‘til it gets hot

then the sound of rain

falling

and I lie there

wondering how

I’m gonna make it

through

I can imagine

the silence

the endless silence

as the years stretch forth

been looking at places

with bathrooms

that aren’t down the hall

but across town

it could be worse

she could go

out-of-state

like Boston

or New York

and she still might

but lately

she’s been talking

‘bout sticking around

and maybe going to college

here

so long as

she can move out

and just like that

it goes from pitter-patter

to the rush of steps

out the door

I don’t think she understands

quite

how could she

at 17

she says she knows exactly

what kind of kitchen

she wants

and what kind of bathroom

she wants

I look at the pictures

she shows me

and nod my head

agreeing how nice …

but I lie

in bed

late at night

waiting for the light

to come on

in the hall

and the sound of water

falling

like rain

TL

Umbrella

I give her

umbrellas

but she never uses

any of them

she asked me

one day

when she was little

why do you use them

when you say you love

the rain

why do you use an umbrella

if you say you love

the rain

TL

Sad Bell Pepper

wasted it

when stood there

in produce

picking it out

a glossy smooth

unblemished

apple-like

red one

but left it

on the counter

and forgot about it

for a day

or two

then a week

went by

and another

this morning

I noticed it

how much it’d changed

no longer smooth

and glossy

still red

but a wrinkled-red

softer now

smaller than it was

I picked it up

and turned it over

remembering

how it was

in produce

I took it

to the sink

and held it

under the faucet

shook it

and put it

on a plate

and cut it up

shrugged

and ate it

and it was still

good

no crunch

but it had

a bite

TL

Turn the Lights Back On

after all this time

away

Billy Joel’s back

with his beautiful ballad

that speaks

for every man

out there

who can’t seem to find

the words

every woman

out there

needs to hear

“I was wrong.

I’m late … but I’m here

right now …”

TL

Rose Garden

it’s the 4^th

hour

again

I can hear

the rain

falling

the sound of it

wakes me

and lulls me

to sleep

it’s been a week

of rain

sheets of it

I pull the curtain back

and listen

the ground is saturated

with salt

a good day for mushrooms

and bulbs

but not pinecones

they clam up

like a turtle in its shell

wonder where the birds go

when it rains this hard

supposed to be an early spring

my favorite time of year

when everything’s in bloom

love is in the air

go to any grocery store

and it’s there

a pop-up rose garden

marked up on Wednesday

reduced by Thursday

dead in the vase

before March

it’s been a year already

turning the corner

the road ahead

untraveled

we’re all searching for something

shuffling stuff

around

trying to figure out the best

placement

what to keep

what to throw out

it’s subjective

do you cut the rose

or leave it

be

TL

Crossing the Line

she’s blinded by

love

and wants to hold on

to that Super Bowl feeling

so she ignores the red flag

on the field

the-in-your-face-one

that shoves

and screams

and shows

a side

‘ya never knew

but now ‘ya know

all you need

to know

somebody show her

in slow-mo

TL

The Color of the Sky

it started

quite literally

in pre-school

from then on

out

there was never not

a boy

in the picture

brains and beauty

and loves to laugh

it was

and is

an irresistible combination

she has had a hard time

owning her beauty

but not her brains

not her humor

at 17

she knows who she

is

and who she

isn’t

knows what she wants

and what she doesn’t

she’ll keep ‘ya on your toes

for sure

she was raised

with intention

to always think

for herself

looking back

I realize I worried about

all the wrong things

she’s gonna be ok

I cannot imagine her

not here at HOME

she can

but I can’t

they say it’s a blink

and it is

you wake up

and wonder

was it all a dream

then reality

sets in

thinking and knowing

are two different

things

I’ve thought about

this part

for a long time

but knowing it

is real

and real is

feeling it

in full

TL

Chapter 50

was driving

in the dark

in a daze

and didn’t even

realize

my lights

weren’t on

‘til I saw blue lights

in the mirror

and a kind face

at my window

wasn’t the speed

or the seatbelt

so I’m looking at him

confused

dazed and confused

and he tells me my lights

weren’t on

and sure enough

the knob was not on auto

and I’m thinking how can that be

and how could I not even notice

that

musta just happened

through the takeout window

2 bags of regret

maybe 1 of ‘em accidently turned

the knob

I don’t know but

the officer was nice about it

and said I probably didn’t notice

‘cause of all the street lights and all

and how he just wanted me to drive safe

and no accident

he bid me good night

I thanked him and said the same

and thought to myself

if he only knew

the day I’ve just had

he’d understand

why

lights or no lights

was the last thing

on my mind

I’d like to sit by the sea

and listen to the waves

and watch the sun come up

and go back down

and pretend life is

easy and breezy

and just begun

TL

Minimize

been a year

treading water

trying to find traction

but it feels like a pool

not the ocean

TL

Toby Keith

“don’t let

the old man

in

i wanna live me

some more

can’t leave it up

to him

he’s knocking

on my door

and i knew

all of my life

that someday

it would end

get up

and go

outside

don’t let

the old man

in

many moons

i have lived

my body’s weathered

and worn

ask yourself

how old would you be

if you didn’t know

the day you were born

try to love

on your wife

and stay close

to your friends

toast each sundown

with wine

don’t let

the old man

in

many moons

i have lived

my body’s weathered

and worn

ask yourself

how old would you be

if you didn’t know

the day you were born

when he rides up

on his horse

and you feel

that cold bitter wind

look out your window

and smile

don’t let

the old man

in

look out your window

and smile

don’t let

the old man

in”

Senior Year

she looks

at me

and says

why not

then a war

of words

ensues

the teenage years

are not

for the weary

weak

of heart

it’s like

you die

in the desert

slowly

and nobody’s

coming

to rescue you

but the death

is on the inside

it’s internal

on the outside

you’re walking around

and talking

and driving to the grocery

store

stopping at the light

and looking around

and listening to a song

and watching

a bird

and hanging electric lines

and shadows on the street

and the light changes

and you move through it

and walk in the gym

and stare at the bag

for a small eternity

then chop it in-half

for a fragment

and put it back

gather your stuff

and yourself

and walk out the gym

and get in the car

and sit in the silence

for an untimely time

this is hard …

you say to yourself

much harder than you thought

it’d be

and you knew

it’d be hard

emotional stuff

always is

it’s like Joni Mitchell

at the Grammys

tapping her cane

in the final Act

“i really don’t know …

l i f e …

at all …“

TL

Remains

the sun

the same

day in

day out

millions of years

above

land

and sea

it creeps up

then down

as constant

as a clock

as unchanged

as death

TL