Author: Tamiko Lowery

Dawson

plans …

outta the gate

gotta have a plan

in place

short-term

long-term

mid-term

gotta have a goal

something to reach

a purpose

a passion

a possibility

it’s what’s expected

ingrained in our psyche

from the time

we can sing

A-Z

there’s a plan

in place

the parent plan

 to graduate

find your place

no parent in the picture

hold up the mirror

look yourself in the face

make that promise

not to break

to keep going and going and going

‘til ya get there …

to that place

pointed toward

and after so long

the day dawns

and they pat ya on the back

and give ya a title, premium parking

keys to the castle

and you’re feeling it

in every fiber

of your being

and the voice inside

is rapping

and all the lights are green

foot on the medal

so fast

the signs are spinning red

but who’s got time to read ‘em

don’t wanna be late

oh, that’s great

just great

traffic jam

must be bad

look out the pane

and the red signs aren’t spinning

and your ride ain’t moving

so you got time

to sit and read ‘em

and they all say the same

STOP

 but the word seems foreign

so you honk your horn

and get on the phone

long as you’re talking

something’s moving

so ya yak and yak and yak

traffic’s backed

patience cracked

then ya hear it

that distant whine

sirens flying

red lights flashing

chopper’s circling

and your mind is moving

backward

all the way back

to when you were happy

really happy

and you look around

then you look down

and your hands are shaking

and you wonder how you got here

musta missed a turn

back there somewhere

now there’s a line

can’t turn around

later that night

you turn on the tube

watch the news

reporters at the scene

nobody made it out

and the widow’s on the street

with her head in her hands

but we had a plan …

TL

Jeff

open or close

keep seeing you …

in that

mechanical bed

should have

chosen

a different seat

why didn’t I

do that

wasn’t thinking

straight

just sat down

in the one

direct across

and it was too late

to get up

and move

suddenly the surgeon’s

in the room

telling you

the result

tumor in your head

how long

you’ve got to live

and you’re looking at me

and I’m looking at you

your brown eyes

accepting

somewhere after

the surgeon

I get up

and close the door

to the bathroom

and come back out

and go to

sit back down

but you call me over

to sit beside you

on that mechanical bed

why’d you do that

tried to be steel

but couldn’t

why are you lying there

comforting me

why aren’t you crying

or screaming

or throwing something

anything

why are you just lying there

holding my hand

I want my hand back

TL

Chesney

flipping through

the rack

looking for

Lucille

when glimpsed

your hat

white shirt

jeans

and thought

I had ‘em all

$6.99

ripped the

plastic off

and put it in

and sat there

and I don’t know

how long I sat there

’cause track 11

That Lucky Old Sun

kept lapping back

like a wave in the ocean

laid on my back

and closed my eyes

lulled in the lyric

soothed by the sound

lost in the voice

Way Down Here

TL

Saved Seat

if you

live a bit …

in sorrow

you will sit

nay you say

not I

as you

dance and dance

on by

but the stage

is just a floor

and floors

run out

of space

for spinners

wee and great

the music

makes a mask

and we wear it

for the show

behind the curtain

is the play

no one wants to know

blank marquee

no hair, no makeup

no wardrobe

just a shadow

of yourself

moves across

the floor

taking center stage

without a line

a mark, a motion

the floor feels cold

colder against the cheek

TL

Your Jennie

after almost

25 years together

you still

looked at her

and saw her …

men at 56

don’t always see

but we saw

the way

you looked at her

that Christmas Eve

how you got down

on one knee

with that ring

you bought her

how you held her close

and kissed her

and told her

how much

you loved her

how happy

you were

that night

‘cause she was

your wedded wife

but the Christmas lights

aren’t blinking

we can’t see ‘em

from the road

put up now

in a box

behind the star

and the tree

that stood

is bare

and brown

no longer round

and real

where’d Santa go

we’re not done

opening presents

yet

come back

and eat

your cookies

and drink

your milk

it’s not time

for bed

we still gotta

put the toys

together

and you’re

good at that

don’t rub your eyes

we still got time

to wrap the presents

special

so don’t fall asleep

just yet

she needs you

to stay awake

a minute more

and hold her

in your arms

and tell her

it’ll be all right

that you’re still here

beside her

holding her hand

telling her how much

you love her …

tell her that

tell her that

tonight

don’t go to bed

without telling her that

okay

all right

TL

Simplicity

why is it

the simple

why not

the discombobulated

that renders

a king

crownless

that lifts

a bare foot

groundless

and heels it

ask the

brown bird

that lit

on my sill

yesterday

that stared me down

daring me to breathe

closing in on me

his beak

tapping against

the pane

between us

then up

pops his head

triumphant

the twig

waits for

my smile

then turns

and takes off

leaving me

to be

TL

For My Daughter

want you to

remember this

for when

I’m not around

for when

the days are down

and God your only

for lest they forget

and they will forget

you mustn’t

and that’s important

you must know

who you are

in the blades of green

and in the bricks of ice

in the rainy night

and in the silent morning

you must know

who you are

and hold it

somewhere …

in your shell

family and friends

can only take you

so far

consumed as they are

the world does that

soon you will be

7

an important number

soon you will be

70

an important number

and even now

you know all

you need to know

so don’t forget

my darling, my dear

there is more to life

than what’s out there …

more than

coming and going

staying and leaving

you must look

with an inward eye

beyond

the hello

beyond

the goodbye

past the smile

the tear

and find

your 7

when you

already knew

what you need

to know

now

TL

 

“Blue Danube”

there were

tears

on the street

that ran

a river

down

that fell

from

his fallen face

half hers

the baby

baptized

in streams

the blessing

misting over

wept waters

carried on the wind

a white sail

speck in his eye

that ran

a river

down

and flowed

unto the sea

TL

Be

she’s standing

on the scale

still

as a tree trunk

waitin for the pointer

to tell her if she’s

gettin better

up or down

round

and round

and I wanna

tell her

to get off

that scale

and never

step back

I wanna

tell her

to keep pushin

up that hill

don’t look back

I wanna

tell her

what that scale

never will …

you’re here

you showed up

no matter what

you showed up

husband, no husband

kid, no kid

job, no job

no matter what

you showed up

and you’re here

gettin better

forget the number

on the box

and crack the code

internal

the body of being

measured by …

breathing

TL

Clover

is there

a fountain

for you

to toss

your golden

coins ….

one for

your mother

one for

your father

one for

your brother

one for

your sister

four wishes

forth

from a single stem

like Irish clover

in a distant land

like patches

edged along

a runner’s road

brings us back

way we came

TL

Brantley Gilbert

never met

and probably

never will

but I went

to see ya still

got up at the crack

parked in a field

and got on a shuttle

thinking how big

and nice it was

had almost an hour

to think that

‘til some guy gets on the bus

and gets on the speaker

and starts off with “sorry …”

something about a police escort

so we all get off

the big, nice bus

and load up

on the small, yellow bus

and I’m thinking

you better be worth it …

and there we are

sardines in a can

chillin half an hour

finally ready to move

and the driver

decides he needs breakfast

and they’re hollering,

“where’s your driver …”

and a guy in the back yells out

“he’s over there getting food,

see that big guy with the white shirt …”

so they holler for him

and he gets back on the bus

and it actually starts moving

bout 20 minutes we’re there

and pull out our paper tickets

and get ‘em scanned

and soon as I see the stage

I’m thinking

it doesn’t look ready … at all

so I ask somebody

“is Gilbert singing on that stage

or the other one”

and the guy points

to the one I’m looking at

the one that’s not ready

so I sit down on this

makeshift step

and about an hour later

I see this guy with paperwork

and a badge and a blue shirt

and I ask him

“do you know when

Brantley Gilbert is gonna sing …”

and he looks down the page

and says, “5:30 …”

and I’m thinking

“5:30 …”

so I sit back down

and bake in the oven

‘cause the guy tells me

once your ticket is scanned

you can’t leave and come back

and yes, this was my first rodeo

and no, I’m not a college kid

so aside from the police

and the paramedics

think I was the only sober soul

5:30 came and went

by that time

I’m sitting under a tent

2 other acts take the stage

first

got showered in beer

and shoved against a wire fence

‘cause the two guys on the cooler

fell off the cooler

and the guy with no shirt

wearing suspenders and a smile

keeps asking for a dance

“can’t you pretend you’re in love with me …”

8:30

there you are

in boxer form

chains banging against your leg

and I’m taking it in …

my CD singer

LIVE

and it was

worth the wait

but only got to hear

your opening number

‘cause I’m a wife and mother

and the line to the bus

was, well, another

so we waited

like cattle

and heard you sing

from far away

and it was

well

worth it

TL

Ladder

at his

small square

table

we sit

and talk

and his mind

is full of light

pointed up

to the bulb

and told me

it was new

how it gave off

more light

supposed to last

longer

and I ask him

who put it up there

for him

and he gives me

this look

“I did.”

and I give him

this look

“What … but how?”

and he laughs

“With a ladder …”

and I laugh

“But how did

you move

the table?”

and he says,

“I didn’t move it;

I just worked around it.”

and in my mind

I’m thinking

how long

it must of took him

to get that ladder out

and walk it from

where it was

and open the door

and maneuver it

inside

through the kitchen

the doorway

and open it

without knocking

stuff over

and then

put his foot

on the rung

and pull himself up

to the next

‘til he reached the top

and stood there

breathing

how he had to stretch

his arm

and extend his fingers

to reach the broken bulb

and slowly turn it loose

‘til it rested in his palm

how he probably put it

in his pocket

and took the other out

how he carefully held it

like an egg

and fit it

in the circle

and turned it

‘til secure

how he must of felt

standing on that ladder

way up high

changing that light bulb

like it was the sun

in the sky

how it was

something

he could cross off

his list

something

he had control over

something

that made sense

and maybe he lingered

up there

‘cause he knew

what it was like

down there

where his wife wanders

in and out of rooms

and can’t recall

much at all

how she was told

about their boy

how cancer

took his head

how he has

but a day

an hour

a second

to linger

she doesn’t know

they will outlive him

hope you took your time, Papa,

getting down off that ladder

TL

Someday

what of

the broken

moments …

what do

you do

with them

all

do you

have a place

you keep ‘em

or no place

at all

do you

gather ‘em up

and drop ‘em low

or leave ‘em

lone

thinking someday

not today

and how many

before

how many

after

went that way

thinking someday

just not

today

TL

Nevertheless

sticks are

sprouting

wisps of hair

washed in rain

the length

measured

before

the tree

was there

to shade

against the glare

of a silent sun

and a day

that missed

its morning

TL

Teacher

heard

her heels

click, click, click

on out the door

four years

up and down the hall

heard

her heels

click, click, click

seemed she

always knew

where she was going

click, click, click

a planner by nature

a worrier by birth

a corrector by habit

she was a mentor

to a kid

who needed mentoring

and the books

she gave

were magic

“It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times …”

and I’ve missed her

O how much

TL

20

New Year’s

day

is March

to me

always be

March

to me

dead …what was that

didn’t know

that

20 thought she knew

1+1 makes 2

and if you

cross the t

and dot the i

somehow

you’d dodge

that bullet

but down went

20

hit the cement

cold

body got up

as bodies do

but inside

got stuck

as insides do

stuck in the moment

‘cause you left me

hanging

on the line …

and i’m still

holding the phone

‘cause you said

you’d be home

and i’ve waited

for you

to come home

20 years

now

you know

i know

and when

i’d go

to your grave

and sit in

your blade

wasn’t to see you

you know

’cause i knew

you weren’t there

but the girl i knew

was

the me

i was

with you

will always

be

there

and i thought

about the ticket

and getting on

that plane

and going

to see her

today

but see

i have

her now

and she

needs me

you know

the way

i needed you

and she

loves her daddy

the way

i loved you …

love you

still

TL

“Forget-Me-Not”

s t a n d

where …

you are

and feel

the ground

beneath

and walk

its dirty streets

not

point-to-point

but

here to there

and rest

not on concrete

steps

but

along its

ever blade

and sleep

not on bricks and mortar

but

in its puddle

full of drops

and sit

not in somebody’s seat

for it’s already

taken

but

in its fallen leaves

the stillness

of the heart

for the earth yields

what love forgot

what time

does not

TL

Drip

lights are

still up

blinking

on boxes

lined in

a row

and last

night

they were

blurry

like a Monet

wipers like

brushes

dabbing

and dipping

framed

in the shield

the movie

just watched

like the single

cup of cappuccino

drunk

like the smallness

of the shelf

they built

at the bookstore

for Frost

and other

dead poets

like the song

Chesney sings

to me

and me

alone

like the

street

dressed

in sequins

the lamps

like sticks

in silver

holders

standing

apart

the wax

warm

and willing

to bend

a bit

before

it hardens

on the

table

TL

Aspect

in the circular

silence

of our lives

we return

and away

are the massive

amounts

of consumption

our mind and body

did wallow

and it matters not

those things

those blistering things

that kept you

hemmed in

and you see

the sun

break through

the gray

and change

the direction

of your eye

from ground

to sky

an ancestral

tribe

TL

Suicide

lack of love

is that

the trigger

that took him

before He could

lack of love

is that

the pill

that took her

before He could

lack of love

is that

the reason

for the letter left

lack of love

is that

the reason

for no words

lack of love

did no one see

the pain

welled within

TL