Category: Tamiko Lowery

Behind the Scenes

it took

years

literally

to be able

to take the turn

and drive down

that road

past that place

and even more

to write about it

I had gone there

to cover a story

in February of 2008

a story about an infant

who had just been found

dead

in a drainage ditch

at an apartment complex

days later

I quit my job

there had been another story

just prior

sitting in a courtroom

listening to a report

of neglect and horrifying abuse

of a small child

I cried through the whole thing

cried all the way back to work

cried in the work restroom

cried all the way home

cried in the shower

cried on the pillow

then they sent me to cover

a story

about an infant

left in a ditch

and even though

I can drive by

now

it don’t mean

I don’t still

cry

TL

Hangers

on a Sunday

as the leaves fell

off the branches

I turned to my closet

and did what the Kondo woman

preaches in her book

I took every single item of clothing I own

OUT

and held up each piece

and asked myself

what she tells you to ask yourself

“does this spark joy”

turns out very little did

seven heaping helping bags later

I realize this

yes, I’ve weeded out my clothes before

but not like this

there were decades in there

things I would never wear again

things I forgot I had

things with tags

I really thought I might get stuck

in there

as the mountain grew higher and higher

I just kept my head down

and kept going

and going

and going

piece by piece

as the hangers piled up

and the bags were tied

clothing condensed

I thought to myself

well, maybe some of it

will spark joy

for somebody else

out there

that or make a good rag

to clean the car

after the clearing of clothes

Kondo tells her readers

to tackle all the books

then all the papers

then all the miscellaneous

and lastly, the sentimental

you’re supposed to hold up each item

and ask yourself, again

“does this spark joy”

yeah, I’m gonna skip the books

and magazines

and go straight to papers

TL

Mr. White

the morning

after

your funeral

I see …

that you have died

70’s too young, Bill

ain’t it

you had a cowboy way about you

a loner on the range

ready to ride out

at first light

in the dew and mist

ever searching for something

intangible to capture

you taught me how

to take a decent shot

even got an A

in your photojournalism class

and since it’s a small world

I’d end up sitting next to you

in the newsroom

you were a better photographer than a writer

great photos need no words

you carried a camera around

like some men carry guns

prepared

you were hard to read

smiling with that gap in your teeth

and raising a wired brow

your eyes seemed to hold secrets

maybe painful ones

we never talked like that

but you did love to talk about surface things

your photos delved deeper

for a close reader

TL

Room to Grow

take a walk

with me

down the path

where carpets of green

unroll

we’ll step on the wrinkles

and smooth out the line

on this floor of green

we’ll add some color

that will bloom and blush

and come back next year

shaded there

under tall umbrellas

a steady stream

transforms the stone

and over time

hard edges soften

on bare feet

we’ll sit and listen

to the water run

and long enough

we’ll watch the blue ceiling

turn pastel

and mix and move

into one

shade of shadow

a string of lights flung

they blink

like the crickets

and the frogs

and the fireflies

like the years gone by

all the days and nights

sleeping and waking up

the sun on one side

and the moon on the other

TL

Abide

when your eyes

swell shut

and the tears travel

inward

a river forms

and flows to the heart

to the deepest recesses

where love resides

and when you love somebody

more than yourself

they live there

in that place

wherever you go

wherever you are

they are

even if you can’t see them

or speak to them

or touch them

they remain

as they are

untouched by time

in that sacred

place

TL

Badge of Honor

when they

get home

from work

they close the door

and take their boots off

and put their uniform away

shower and change

and unwind

most days they don’t

take their work home

it’s routine

but there are days

certain days

they do

and they stand in the shower

longer

and close their eyes

and they see it all

and they feel it all

and there’s salt in the water

that falls

TL

Fall Days

been

chopping the tops

off carrots

and putting them in water

and watching them grow

tiny trees on orange islands

and if you were alive

you’d be smiling

at that

I remember

the seedlings there

on your kitchen counter

wrapped in clear plastic

and the books you gave me about plants

and how we used to talk about that

I have a small greenhouse now

you’d like

with plenty of plants

of varied variety

they like to be perfumed with peppermint

it wakes them up

and since it hasn’t rained lately

I’ll be using the hose

for watering

TL

Connection

the story

of

Jeff Bauman

will be played out

tomorrow

on the big screen

marking his healing process

and giving the rest of us

a glimpse

of what it takes

to go on

and while this movie

is important

for so many, many reasons

it’s timely, too

in a world

that is experiencing

such loss

it is the struggle in the story

the internal struggle

that shows us

something about ourselves

a truth that reaches out

across the line

TL

Color on the Page

at first

the sun

was a dot

then a smudge

the smudge became swirly

eventually circular

one day

there were rays

around the circle

like a fence

and over time

the fence would fall

d

o

w

n

toward the trees

and gardens would grow

flowers would bloom

the grass would point up

to the sky

a bird would fly by

there would be puddles

and rivers

and streams

the ocean

there would be hills

and mountains

and meadows

a cliff

there would be winter

and spring

and summer

and fall

there would be planes

and trains

and buses

and cars

and boats

there would be picnics

and kites

and bikes

and dogs

and cats

there would be parks

and parades

and parties

a carnival

there would be biking

and hiking

and walking

and jogging

and strolling

there would be games

on fields

and courses

and trails

the water

there would be chairs

and tables

and tents

the back end of a truck

there would be pictures

taken

and took

and tossed

and put in frames

there would be fountains

and funerals

and weddings

and playdates

and reunions

there would be walks

with a dog

with a child

with another

without the other

there would be sitting

on a bench

in a wheelchair

by the window

there would be days

without the sun

like all the yellow got used up

and mixed

and dried out

and there’d just be a dot

a smudge

TL

Sitting Still

a residual

gust of wind

blew out all the lights

and made mute

the box

The Weather Channel

went black

like the World Wide Web

the refrigerator stood still

and the oven lost heat

candles were burning

but it was still light outside

so, I opened the door

and pulled up a chair

and watched the wind

bend the trees

and move the rain

ripping the leaves

and I don’t know

how long I sat there

but at some point

the lights turned on

the refrigerator hummed

the remote worked

the mouse clicked

and there was noise

so, I put the chair back

in place

and shut the door

and turned the oven

back on

and made a cup of coffee

that I was grateful for

TL

Smoke

when you

walk out the door

and you don’t come back

no more

‘cause you dropped your keys

at the gate

will you remember

the band

and how it played

will you take your ticket

and find your seat

in the middle row

and lose yourself

at the exit

will you sit at the table

through the courses

and clearing

and wait for the check

will you drive to the beach

‘cause the beach is not far

from where you are

will you pick up a book

where you left off

and think about it

later on

at the light

will you take a walk

for no reason

or result

other than to get

where you’re going

will you tire

along the way

and lie down

for a bit

and rest your eyes

on a cloud

a moving cloud

that was here, now there

there, now here

will you drift on with it

like smoke

on a reservation

then away

TL

How It Was

seven years

gone by

on the eve of the eighth

pre-K

kindergarten

first grade

second

third

fourth

fifth

sixth

a parent

in the pick-up line

you sit there

the same

but you’re not the same

things have changed

all around you

but you sit there

the same

waiting in line

and you used to pick-up

a little kid

but that little kid is gone

this girl gets in

and she’s wearing contacts

and styling her own hair

without a bow in sight

painting her nails

and toes

and needing privacy

to change her clothes

and we drive down the road

and she doesn’t like my Seger CD

so, we switch to the radio

and listen to a commercial

waiting for it to turn into a song

and she likes this song

it’s a new song

“Every Little Thing”

and I like it, too

it has a story

and like most country songs

it’s about love

some sad song

about love

and how it was

TL

Song written by Civilla D. Martin, 1905 

“Why should I feel discouraged,

Why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely

And long for Heav’n and home,

When Jesus is my portion?

My constant friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

‘Let not your heart be troubled,’

His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness,

I lose my doubts and fears;

Tho’ by the path He leadeth

But one step I may see:

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,

Whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing,

When hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him,

From care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know

He watches me.”

(For Dr. Don Roberts, Aug. 21, 1950 – Sept. 4, 2017)

Color-blind

is there

a verse

in diverse

and how would it

go

what would it

say

on the surface of things

is that all you see

what appears to be

an enemy

and they all look the same

they look like those people

over there

who want to kill us all

those people testing missiles

and marching with mantras

and scaring the L out of us

it’s bad enough they’re over here

living and working and going to school

and you can’t understand what they’re saying

so, it must be bad

they must be bad

they’re in the grocery store

the restaurants

in the park

taking over golf

walking down the street

driving down the road

used to be all you saw

was black and white

that’s all you ever saw

was black and white

and if that’s all you ever saw

then that’s how you see

the w o r l d

in black

and white

TL

Give

in Times

like these

you give

what you can

if you have money

you give money

if you have time

you give time

if you have a gift

you give that gift

if you can sing

go sing a song

for music is healing

if you can make people laugh

go make people laugh

for laughter is healing

if you can listen and really hear what’s being said

go listen and really hear what’s being said

for listening and being heard is healing

if you can cook a good meal

go cook, for food is healing

if you can read a book

go read a book to a child, to an adult

for words are healing

if you can play with a pet

go play with a pet, for pets are healing

if you can find beauty in the ordinary

go find beauty in the ordinary, for beauty is healing

if you can hold somebody

go hold somebody, for being held is healing

if you can be there

go be there, for just being there is healing

if you can pray

go pray, for prayer is healing

it’s not just words

it’s something you feel

like when you were little

and you looked at the world

and saw it

like God intended

TL

The Rain

it’s raining

outside my window

the kind of rain

that tells me

summer’s over

and fall is here

and I can’t help but think

would I still love the rain

if I lost all I had

to it

if somebody I loved

drowned in it

if all the pets got lost

in it

if the house I lived in

disappeared in it

if the business I built

sunk down in it

if the car I drove

submerged in it

if all the photos

got smeared in it

if all I owned

now

was the shirt on my back

the shoes on my feet

if all I had was me

and my precious baby

and we had to start all over

from the ground up

would I search the clouds

and spot the sun

would I stare at the sunset

and wake with the rise

would I see the moon

and all the stars

would I look around

at all the devastation

and see past it

somehow

would I know

I’d have a home again

a kitchen to cook a meal in

a place to wash and dry my clothes

my own bed, my own pillow

a car to drive down the street in

work to go back to

new photos in the frames

would I look up

at the clouds turning gray

and watch the drops

roll down the pane

like all the tears I cried

tell me …

would I

would I still love

the rain

TL

“One Nation, Under God”

there is

hatred

behind closed doors

spilling out

into the streets

saturating the ground of 50 states

the United States of America

doesn’t feel united

there is unrest

inside the whole of society

a repetition of history

with blood on the hands

whose hands

a young man, a middle man, an old man

women

is it right

to take the life

of another human being

without regard

a human who was born into this world

by Grace

but because they don’t

look like you

or believe like you

or talk like you

you would kill them

or have them killed

and support their murder

take pride in their death

rally the harm

to feel you’ve been justified

finally heard

these are the acts of those

who think they are immortal

hatred hides behind a smile

and shakes your hand

and looks you in the eye

pay attention

look deeper

do you see a soul

TL

Bok Choy

how did

gecko food

turn into

a black bunny

I’ll never know

and they never have bunnies in there

like ever

it’s like they knew

all about the Holland Lop videos

she’s been watching online

for a month

and we barely got one leg in the door

when she spies the rabbits

with a gasp

and out of nowhere

this lady appears next to us

like a fairy godmother

poof

and starts telling us all about these three baby bunnies

and how they had the same mother

and how they’re half Dwarf and half Holland Lop

and I don’t think she took a breath

and as soon as she felt me caving

she opens the cage

and puts the black bunny in her hands

how did this happen

now, I gotta go buy

more bok choy

TL

The Mountains

staring out

the window

at the mountains

majestic

always gets me

one of the last things he ever told me

was about mountains

“life is about peaks and valleys …

peaks and valleys”

shortly before he died

he buried his mother

and shortly after that

I buried him

we sat alone at a picnic table

and he looked at me with such joy and said

if he died tomorrow

he’d die a happy man

‘cause I was there

with him

getting off that plane

and seeing him standing there

with open arms

his hair no longer black but gray

his laughter the same sound

that twinkle in his eye

him hollering out my nickname

holding me like he did

when I was little

that was the peak

getting that call

seeing him on that hospital bed

beneath those glaring lights

his arms limp by his side

his skin still warm

that was the valley

low

TL

Sorrow

was watering

quiet

so as not

to disturb

the baby birds

then I looked down

and realized

they would not

be disturbed

TL