Britney Spears
through tears
i just finished
reading your book
and i believe
it will help heal
not only you
but countless others
around the world
who have suffered
and survived
unimaginable things
in life
but can still find joy
in the smallest of things
and pure peace
within
the peace that
makes you strong …
stronger than you thought
you could ever be
TL
(“I look at the fact that I survived
and I think, That wasn’t me;
that was God.” – page 236 – The Woman in Me)
The Internal and External
in the way
of the world
all things connect
never more so
than in nature
where the language
and meaning
are unspoken
but felt
the deepest
beneath the vastness
of the ocean
the endlessness of the sky
the other side of the sea
it travels in a raindrop
that reaches the seed
and finds the sun
it is ever in the wind
that carries time
marking the seasons
the lift and fall
of leaves
the tumble of stones
in the riverbed
the wearing away of all prints
like grass over dirt
like shells in the water
like trees in a storm
that stand
a hundred years
or more
like smoke from a fire
that dresses the wind
but a moment
like stars in the sky
that twinkle
like rain in the morning
the dew on grass
the earth is ever moving
and still
it can be both
moving and still
at the same time
here
or there
TL
Life Lessons
despite
my circumstances
growing up
i did not dwell
or feel sorry
for myself
it’s almost like
i chose to live
an inward life
or maybe i didn’t choose
maybe it was just a natural instinct
i don’t know
i just remember
always looking at the bright side
of dark things
whether it was in people
or in circumstances
or in situations
when you’re young
i think you’re more resilient
in a way that is different
from an adult
during the pandemic
as a grown adult
I actually felt
sorry for myself
which was not me
not my nature
but all of a sudden
I could feel this hatred
radiating from strangers
wherever I went
wherever I’d go
it got to the point
where I did not want to leave the house
not from fear of getting sick
but from what people thought of me
at a glance
this is when I first met Amazon
and had groceries delivered to my door
I’d lie awake in tears
hiding my pain
it hurt so much
it still does
but knowing what to expect
helps
the first few times
I was unprepared for the pain
it is better to know
what you’re dealing with
from the get-go
I thought I was stronger
than that
had been through enough
stuff
but to walk through a parking lot
and into a grocery store
any store
and be openly hated
and avoided
and blamed
for being Asian in America
was something I had never fully felt
before
the hate was hidden before
but no more
I’ve always known that if there was a war
between the US and an Asian country
what to expect
but the pandemic
caught me off-guard
hatred is a learned thing
from generation to generation
but so is love
TL
Wallpaper
the pattern
on the wall
is cracked
and peeled
remember when
it was
a simple sample
shot
in a book
with too many squares
but an eye
of discern
a glimpse of
possibility
that could dress
a room
cradle a crib
light a kitchen
run down the hall
open and close the door
rest and wake
wake and rest
make a mistake
maybe a zillion
and one
but we never did
did we
pick a pattern
‘cause someone preferred paint
the other paper
white walls stood
instead
in every room
without a word
letting the paintings
speak
for an artist
still in stages
who started out
in print
small prints
cracked
and peeled
and full of color
a mixture of paint
and paper
TL
Allie Sherlock
her voice
lifts
off the street
through the cables
and the dark night
into the vastness
of the open net
and finds me
where I sit
on a Saturday
morning
in the South
unaware
she even exists
until I hear the strings
of her guitar
and her voice through the mic
belting out
one of my most favorite
songs
Hallelujah …“I heard there was
a secret chord …”
not anyone can sing
this song
the only rendition was Buckley
and he’s dead
this girl’s from Dublin, Ireland
and can sing the notes outta
this song
and I’m sitting there
wondering why
WHY
hasn’t this girl
already made it
to the concert stage
why isn’t she
on tour
around the world
doesn’t make sense
and she writes her own
stuff
full of aching
and yearning
and need
the music won’t
let her be
she will sing
no matter
where
whether on the street
or in the car
the shower
the rain
in the cold
the heat
a true artist
must create
what’s inside
it is in their very being
to leave something
dear
and beautiful
and real
behind …
just knowing she is out there
in the world
somewhere singing
and writing
and creating
strumming her guitar
or dancing over the keys
with her pen
and her paper
grammy or no grammy
making music
and gifting it
to the world
… is every reason
why …
(heard her voice for the first time
this morning, Sept. 23, 2023, what a gift)
TL
Through the Lens
a halo
in your eyes
it’s hard to say
good
bye
but that’s what
people do
don’t they
they say
i love you, too
and always will
and then they leave
you
where they found you
and you no longer
reach for fortune cookies
‘cause the message’s
never true
and all the dandelions
can keep their hair
from blowing in the wind
and all the candles
on the cake
can keep on burning
down the wick
and all the songs
can keep on singing
drowning on
and on
is it Fall already
no one can tell you
what life is like
only the dead know
what life is really like
at least that’s what they say
from
far
far
away
looking through a clear
unclouded lens
i dreamed last night
or was it
the night before
it was like a painting
in the sky
changing shape
like the clouds
i’m better now
not as angry
anymore
still angry
just not as angry
anymore
looking through the scope
and seeing what no one saw
and i cry for her
‘cause she was golden good
i watch what happened to her
and want to warn her
protect her
but i can’t
so i close my eyes
and go to her
in my time machine
and open the door
and pick her up
and carry her out
and put her
in a better
place in time
where she can
grow up safe
and unafraid
the clouds are on the move
the sun is on the rise
the rain has washed away
what was
a blade of grass
is never cut the same
way
like how a heart
breaks and bleeds
TL
Tiny Turtle
this morning
before coffee
I wiped the counter
top
in the loo
and wiped the turtle off
too
he went sailing
through the air
and bounced
so hard
against the tile
his glass head
went one way
and his body
went the other
picked up the pieces
and examined the shell
and thought
well
now he’s just hiding
inside
like turtles do
from time
to time
TL
Remembering
the grief
of a country
in the collective loss
of its people
on a day
that will live on
within US all
is a continuum
of life
and how we live it
by staying true
to the belief
that a country
is only as great
as its people
no matter what
befalls a nation
it is the human
aspect
of resilience
that makes a difference
and can be traced back
to childhood
when a baby
goes from rolling over
to crawling
to pulling up
to standing
to then taking
that first step
only to fall down
but gets back up
and tries again
determined to walk
without falling
and before long
those steady steps
lift off the floor
and all you see
is a streak
and all you hear
is laughter
it is the human spirit
that connects US
all
TL
Kuleana
the wind
wept
its tears
that fell
to ash
burning the salt
out of the sea
hard to breathe
above
all belongings
have receded
the memory
lingers
like the leaves
it is hard to grieve
what was
and begin again
but these things
are in the wind
in the land
and in the sea
the blue above
the green below
the sunlight
and the rain
the close of day
when the night
is hard
and the mind is still
tears burn back
the day
it is the way
the heart feels
what it felt
before
and after
TL
“Be like water …”
“The idea
of being like water
is to attempt
to embody
the qualities
of fluidity
and naturalness
in one’s life.
Water can adjust
its shape
to any container,
it can be soft
or strong,
it is simply
and naturally
always itself,
and it finds
a way
to keep moving
and flowing.”
– Shannon Lee, from her book “Be Water, My Friend,”
honoring her father’s legacy
She Loved Barbie
i don’t know
but
this whole Barbie
thing
has brought back
unexpected emotion
and i haven’t even
seen the movie
yet
there are so many layers
to it
I can see it all
now
looking back …
books and Barbie
were an escape
from reality
too much to process
day-to-day
my reality wasn’t pretty
there were things
happening
that i never talked about
to anyone
it was not an easy
go
for a kid
who felt so much
and held it in
i’d just pretend
everything was ok
i’d just smile
and go about my way
staying positive
despite it all
only as an adult
have I been able
to process
my past
I’m grateful
i had my books
and my Barbies
and my unwavering faith
that it would be ok
somehow
some way
it would be ok
and I wouldn’t have to pretend
it was
it would just be ok
for real
TL
The Magic of Movies
empty theatres
blank marquees
locked doors
no lights
no lines
no popcorn
no candy
no drinks
no tickets
no anticipation
no animation
no action
no drama
no comedy
no love story
no nothing
nada
but in the Summer of 2023
Barbie
brought it all
back
TL
Barbie
when i was
a little girl
i escaped
to a perfect place
far from monsters
my inner child knew
there was a world
waiting …
where life could be
whatever you wanted it
to be …
TL
The Table
it was
wonderfully long
like Alice
in Wonderland
and this time
the seats were filled
with real bodies
not pandemic poster
cut-outs
of characters
reminiscent of
that “Unbirthday”
in 2020
and as I sat there
happy
that seats were
finally filled
there was no escaping
the unspoken sadness
of empty seats …
we missed you
Papa
we missed you
Uncle Steve
we missed you
Papa T
we missed you
Uncle Jeff
we missed you
Granny E
we missed you
Reba
we missed you
Joe
yeah, but you
already know
the grief of grieving
is slow
and lasts
the length of life
for those
still sitting
in their seats
singing Happy Birthday
to beloved Granny
and my baby
Boo
TL
Wild Rose
roses
for as far
as the eye
can see
they grow
in places
remote
as such
off the path
or down the barrel
in seasons
dew and dust
where no tourists
claim to touch
for there’s palatial plenty
as such
cultivated and temperate
in hot houses
they bloom
on time
already pressed
kissed for the occasion
their fate sealed in the seed
the bouquet of the day
whether it be
a promise
a note
a sonnet
a vow
an apology
or a parting
of ways
the bygone day
roses seem to say
what we couldn’t say
their petals float
in backyard puddles
and Parisian canals
they serve as confetti
in the air
and condolence
on the ground
symbolizing something
quite dear
strength and beauty
hard pressed
between the pages
of joy and pain
but the wild ones
grow
for neither
pain nor joy
they bloom
without want
of plan
or need
of purpose
they dress no table
no gown
no coffin
no door
no knee
no aisle
no holiday
no parade
no prom
no ballet
no some
thing
to say
they just are
as they are
without expectation
or explanation
worry or want
there is no
pre-paid order
backlogs
or quotas to fill
no gardens to gaze
or nurseries to tend
or castles to vase
or derby to race
or manicured lawns
or runways in Milan
a wild rose
grows
as it is
for no particular reason
on no particular day
of the week
or the month
or the year
or the season
as it were
as it was
as it will
be
it just is
TL
Freedom
there are graves
buried at sea
long ago
there are graves
buried in the sky
where sparks fly
there are graves
buried in lands
where the blood runs
deep
there are graves
nobody sees
or ever finds
there are graves
in lines
way too many lines
over time
where do they end
there are graves
inside and outside
this country
marked by
an American Flag
waving in the wind
visible
or invisible
one does not
have to see it
to feel it
TL
Anna Mae
she left
her laughter
not her tears
TL
“Middle Distance”
in a room
of books
just off the side
walk
on a Sunday
sometime before
like an afterthought
they had picked up
all the Poetry
they had
and shoved it
to the back
far corner
wedged between
a rack of magnets
within the realm
of children’s books
near the barista
that talks
and the cashier
that talks
and the parents
that talk
there was jest
enough room
to stand
and reach
and it was there
in the middle of my life
that I first met
Stanley Plumly
TL
Temporary
it was
periwinkle
in color
appearing
like a blue day
I watched it
flicker
like a flame
and even then
I knew
TL
Easter Bunny
I name him
Jack
he appears
on the lawn
before the lights
come on
in the house
I never see
which direction
he comes from
he’s already there
and been there
a while
I watch him
out the window
as he munches
clover
it rained last night
so he has more on his table
he eats fast
he knows there’s a cat
that’ll be up soon
prowling about
he saw what he did
to the chipmunk
last week
and it wasn’t pretty
he eats faster
grab-and-go
is his motto
at least that little girl
ain’t chasing him
down
wonder where she went
he ain’t taking no chances
she used to sneak up on him
and try to catch him good
while his head was down
but the Robin
on the line
always warned him
before she got too close
his white tail
flashing
like a taillight
in the distance
he could hear her hollering
Come Back !
TL