In the Swamp
still try
ing
to process
the pieces
sitting there
in the dark
before the lights
come on
in a packed room
on opening day
I felt …
exposed
I shouldn’t have come
thought I could
handle it
be all right
not like the book
books are too intimate
I cannot read the book
even though it was a gift
and I tried to
at the lake
when I couldn’t sleep
in the middle of the night
but after the first few
pages
I knew I would never read it
it’s too much
too close
too
it’s just too
but I thought the movie
would be ok
like I’d be ok
yeah no
there was a moment
in the movie
that hit me like a brick
I had to cover my mouth
so the sound wouldn’t come out
and clenched my fist
‘til the blood ran out
and like i did when i was a little girl
in my room
on my bed
with the door closed
i sat there
in my seat
very still and very quiet
and wept
even though I sat at the very tip top
I was the first to leave
like a bolt of lightning
I was gone
I had sat through the whole thing
and was now
sitting in my car
feeling numb
grateful I was alone
it was too much
I shouldn’t have come
even though it was well done
and I’d recommend it to anyone
it’s a must-see movie
with a great story
great writing
great acting
great directing
great producing
great, great, great
but not for me
it was not great
for me
I couldn’t just watch it
like I should have
like it was just a movie
of made-up characters
in a made-up story
like it was make-believe
that it wasn’t real
how could it be real
when it’s just a movie
on the big screen
it wasn’t real
TL