Sunlight on the Sea
I have a
fistful
of diamonds
cut
from the corners
where water falls
frozen
icicles in the sun
drop
one by one
shattered
I stoop
and pick up the shards
and carry them
to the edge
of an endless sea
my hand unclenched
i’m blinded by
the sun
TL
Behind the Scenes
it took
years
literally
to be able
to take the turn
and drive down
that road
past that place
and even more
to write about it
I had gone there
to cover a story
in February of 2008
a story about an infant
who had just been found
dead
in a drainage ditch
at an apartment complex
days later
I quit my job
there had been another story
just prior
sitting in a courtroom
listening to a report
of neglect and horrifying abuse
of a small child
I cried through the whole thing
cried all the way back to work
cried in the work restroom
cried all the way home
cried in the shower
cried on the pillow
then they sent me to cover
a story
about an infant
left in a ditch
and even though
I can drive by
now
it don’t mean
I don’t still
cry
TL
Hangers
on a Sunday
as the leaves fell
off the branches
I turned to my closet
and did what the Kondo woman
preaches in her book
I took every single item of clothing I own
OUT
and held up each piece
and asked myself
what she tells you to ask yourself
“does this spark joy”
turns out very little did
seven heaping helping bags later
I realize this
yes, I’ve weeded out my clothes before
but not like this
there were decades in there
things I would never wear again
things I forgot I had
things with tags
I really thought I might get stuck
in there
as the mountain grew higher and higher
I just kept my head down
and kept going
and going
and going
piece by piece
as the hangers piled up
and the bags were tied
clothing condensed
I thought to myself
well, maybe some of it
will spark joy
for somebody else
out there
that or make a good rag
to clean the car
after the clearing of clothes
Kondo tells her readers
to tackle all the books
then all the papers
then all the miscellaneous
and lastly, the sentimental
you’re supposed to hold up each item
and ask yourself, again
“does this spark joy”
yeah, I’m gonna skip the books
and magazines
and go straight to papers
TL
Mr. White
the morning
after
your funeral
I see …
that you have died
70’s too young, Bill
ain’t it
you had a cowboy way about you
a loner on the range
ready to ride out
at first light
in the dew and mist
ever searching for something
intangible to capture
you taught me how
to take a decent shot
even got an A
in your photojournalism class
and since it’s a small world
I’d end up sitting next to you
in the newsroom
you were a better photographer than a writer
great photos need no words
you carried a camera around
like some men carry guns
prepared
you were hard to read
smiling with that gap in your teeth
and raising a wired brow
your eyes seemed to hold secrets
maybe painful ones
we never talked like that
but you did love to talk about surface things
your photos delved deeper
for a close reader
TL
Room to Grow
take a walk
with me
down the path
where carpets of green
unroll
we’ll step on the wrinkles
and smooth out the line
on this floor of green
we’ll add some color
that will bloom and blush
and come back next year
shaded there
under tall umbrellas
a steady stream
transforms the stone
and over time
hard edges soften
on bare feet
we’ll sit and listen
to the water run
and long enough
we’ll watch the blue ceiling
turn pastel
and mix and move
into one
shade of shadow
a string of lights flung
they blink
like the crickets
and the frogs
and the fireflies
like the years gone by
all the days and nights
sleeping and waking up
the sun on one side
and the moon on the other
TL
Abide
when your eyes
swell shut
and the tears travel
inward
a river forms
and flows to the heart
to the deepest recesses
where love resides
and when you love somebody
more than yourself
they live there
in that place
wherever you go
wherever you are
they are
even if you can’t see them
or speak to them
or touch them
they remain
as they are
untouched by time
in that sacred
place
TL
Badge of Honor
when they
get home
from work
they close the door
and take their boots off
and put their uniform away
shower and change
and unwind
most days they don’t
take their work home
it’s routine
but there are days
certain days
they do
and they stand in the shower
longer
and close their eyes
and they see it all
and they feel it all
and there’s salt in the water
that falls
TL
Fall Days
been
chopping the tops
off carrots
and putting them in water
and watching them grow
tiny trees on orange islands
and if you were alive
you’d be smiling
at that
I remember
the seedlings there
on your kitchen counter
wrapped in clear plastic
and the books you gave me about plants
and how we used to talk about that
I have a small greenhouse now
you’d like
with plenty of plants
of varied variety
they like to be perfumed with peppermint
it wakes them up
and since it hasn’t rained lately
I’ll be using the hose
for watering
TL
Connection
the story
of
Jeff Bauman
will be played out
tomorrow
on the big screen
marking his healing process
and giving the rest of us
a glimpse
of what it takes
to go on
and while this movie
is important
for so many, many reasons
it’s timely, too
in a world
that is experiencing
such loss
it is the struggle in the story
the internal struggle
that shows us
something about ourselves
a truth that reaches out
across the line
TL
Color on the Page
at first
the sun
was a dot
then a smudge
the smudge became swirly
eventually circular
one day
there were rays
around the circle
like a fence
and over time
the fence would fall
d
o
w
n
toward the trees
and gardens would grow
flowers would bloom
the grass would point up
to the sky
a bird would fly by
there would be puddles
and rivers
and streams
the ocean
there would be hills
and mountains
and meadows
a cliff
there would be winter
and spring
and summer
and fall
there would be planes
and trains
and buses
and cars
and boats
there would be picnics
and kites
and bikes
and dogs
and cats
there would be parks
and parades
and parties
a carnival
there would be biking
and hiking
and walking
and jogging
and strolling
there would be games
on fields
and courses
and trails
the water
there would be chairs
and tables
and tents
the back end of a truck
there would be pictures
taken
and took
and tossed
and put in frames
there would be fountains
and funerals
and weddings
and playdates
and reunions
there would be walks
with a dog
with a child
with another
without the other
there would be sitting
on a bench
in a wheelchair
by the window
there would be days
without the sun
like all the yellow got used up
and mixed
and dried out
and there’d just be a dot
a smudge
TL
Sitting Still
a residual
gust of wind
blew out all the lights
and made mute
the box
The Weather Channel
went black
like the World Wide Web
the refrigerator stood still
and the oven lost heat
candles were burning
but it was still light outside
so, I opened the door
and pulled up a chair
and watched the wind
bend the trees
and move the rain
ripping the leaves
and I don’t know
how long I sat there
but at some point
the lights turned on
the refrigerator hummed
the remote worked
the mouse clicked
and there was noise
so, I put the chair back
in place
and shut the door
and turned the oven
back on
and made a cup of coffee
that I was grateful for
TL
Smoke
when you
walk out the door
and you don’t come back
no more
‘cause you dropped your keys
at the gate
will you remember
the band
and how it played
will you take your ticket
and find your seat
in the middle row
and lose yourself
at the exit
will you sit at the table
through the courses
and clearing
and wait for the check
will you drive to the beach
‘cause the beach is not far
from where you are
will you pick up a book
where you left off
and think about it
later on
at the light
will you take a walk
for no reason
or result
other than to get
where you’re going
will you tire
along the way
and lie down
for a bit
and rest your eyes
on a cloud
a moving cloud
that was here, now there
there, now here
will you drift on with it
like smoke
on a reservation
then away
TL
How It Was
seven years
gone by
on the eve of the eighth
pre-K
kindergarten
first grade
second
third
fourth
fifth
sixth
a parent
in the pick-up line
you sit there
the same
but you’re not the same
things have changed
all around you
but you sit there
the same
waiting in line
and you used to pick-up
a little kid
but that little kid is gone
this girl gets in
and she’s wearing contacts
and styling her own hair
without a bow in sight
painting her nails
and toes
and needing privacy
to change her clothes
and we drive down the road
and she doesn’t like my Seger CD
so, we switch to the radio
and listen to a commercial
waiting for it to turn into a song
and she likes this song
it’s a new song
“Every Little Thing”
and I like it, too
it has a story
and like most country songs
it’s about love
some sad song
about love
and how it was
TL
Song written by Civilla D. Martin, 1905
“Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav’n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
‘Let not your heart be troubled,’
His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness,
I lose my doubts and fears;
Tho’ by the path He leadeth
But one step I may see:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.
Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him,
From care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know
He watches me.”
(For Dr. Don Roberts, Aug. 21, 1950 – Sept. 4, 2017)
Color-blind
is there
a verse
in diverse
and how would it
go
what would it
say
on the surface of things
is that all you see
what appears to be
an enemy
and they all look the same
they look like those people
over there
who want to kill us all
those people testing missiles
and marching with mantras
and scaring the L out of us
it’s bad enough they’re over here
living and working and going to school
and you can’t understand what they’re saying
so, it must be bad
they must be bad
they’re in the grocery store
the restaurants
in the park
taking over golf
walking down the street
driving down the road
used to be all you saw
was black and white
that’s all you ever saw
was black and white
and if that’s all you ever saw
then that’s how you see
the w o r l d
in black
and white
TL
Give
in Times
like these
you give
what you can
if you have money
you give money
if you have time
you give time
if you have a gift
you give that gift
if you can sing
go sing a song
for music is healing
if you can make people laugh
go make people laugh
for laughter is healing
if you can listen and really hear what’s being said
go listen and really hear what’s being said
for listening and being heard is healing
if you can cook a good meal
go cook, for food is healing
if you can read a book
go read a book to a child, to an adult
for words are healing
if you can play with a pet
go play with a pet, for pets are healing
if you can find beauty in the ordinary
go find beauty in the ordinary, for beauty is healing
if you can hold somebody
go hold somebody, for being held is healing
if you can be there
go be there, for just being there is healing
if you can pray
go pray, for prayer is healing
it’s not just words
it’s something you feel
like when you were little
and you looked at the world
and saw it
like God intended
TL
The Rain
it’s raining
outside my window
the kind of rain
that tells me
summer’s over
and fall is here
and I can’t help but think
would I still love the rain
if I lost all I had
to it
if somebody I loved
drowned in it
if all the pets got lost
in it
if the house I lived in
disappeared in it
if the business I built
sunk down in it
if the car I drove
submerged in it
if all the photos
got smeared in it
if all I owned
now
was the shirt on my back
the shoes on my feet
if all I had was me
and my precious baby
and we had to start all over
from the ground up
would I search the clouds
and spot the sun
would I stare at the sunset
and wake with the rise
would I see the moon
and all the stars
would I look around
at all the devastation
and see past it
somehow
would I know
I’d have a home again
a kitchen to cook a meal in
a place to wash and dry my clothes
my own bed, my own pillow
a car to drive down the street in
work to go back to
new photos in the frames
would I look up
at the clouds turning gray
and watch the drops
roll down the pane
like all the tears I cried
tell me …
would I
would I still love
the rain
TL
“One Nation, Under God”
there is
hatred
behind closed doors
spilling out
into the streets
saturating the ground of 50 states
the United States of America
doesn’t feel united
there is unrest
inside the whole of society
a repetition of history
with blood on the hands
whose hands
a young man, a middle man, an old man
women
is it right
to take the life
of another human being
without regard
a human who was born into this world
by Grace
but because they don’t
look like you
or believe like you
or talk like you
you would kill them
or have them killed
and support their murder
take pride in their death
rally the harm
to feel you’ve been justified
finally heard
these are the acts of those
who think they are immortal
hatred hides behind a smile
and shakes your hand
and looks you in the eye
pay attention
look deeper
do you see a soul
TL
Bok Choy
how did
gecko food
turn into
a black bunny
I’ll never know
and they never have bunnies in there
like ever
it’s like they knew
all about the Holland Lop videos
she’s been watching online
for a month
and we barely got one leg in the door
when she spies the rabbits
with a gasp
and out of nowhere
this lady appears next to us
like a fairy godmother
poof
and starts telling us all about these three baby bunnies
and how they had the same mother
and how they’re half Dwarf and half Holland Lop
and I don’t think she took a breath
and as soon as she felt me caving
she opens the cage
and puts the black bunny in her hands
how did this happen
now, I gotta go buy
more bok choy
TL
The Mountains
staring out
the window
at the mountains
majestic
always gets me
one of the last things he ever told me
was about mountains
“life is about peaks and valleys …
peaks and valleys”
shortly before he died
he buried his mother
and shortly after that
I buried him
we sat alone at a picnic table
and he looked at me with such joy and said
if he died tomorrow
he’d die a happy man
‘cause I was there
with him
getting off that plane
and seeing him standing there
with open arms
his hair no longer black but gray
his laughter the same sound
that twinkle in his eye
him hollering out my nickname
holding me like he did
when I was little
that was the peak
getting that call
seeing him on that hospital bed
beneath those glaring lights
his arms limp by his side
his skin still warm
that was the valley
low
TL