ER
in that
bright blinding
emergency room
i watched a nurse and doctor
go through the motions
as if they were treating
a leper
they did not hide
their disgust
the woman could not sit up
or cuss without slurring
but the black eye
and the stench of alcohol
needed no explanation
it was just another night
in the ER
for those on duty
i never said a word
i just stood there invisible
and quietly shut the door
inside myself
there was school
the next day
i had to put on my face
for school
TL
Domestic Violence
to this day
i cannot
step on a box
no matter the size of it
to flatten
to fit
in a trash
bag
to this day
i can still hear
the sound
a sledgehammer makes
against a concrete floor
when it smashes
an aluminum can
over and over and over
again
to flatten
to fit
in a trash
bag
to this day
i die inside
when i hear a chainsaw
crank up
and run …
a body could have ended up
in pieces
that terrible night
to fit
in a trash
bag
even mine
i learned early on
in life
that things that are whole
will lose their shape
in an instant
if smashed and flattened
continuously
to the ground
TL
Strength in Sorrow
just watched Oprah
interview her dear friend
Maria Shriver
who recently released
I am Maria …
a book of poetry
that she had been writing
all this time …
since she was just
a little girl
but did not know it
then
until now …
wow
what a gift
what a journey
back to one’s
self
if nothing else
you learn in life
what life really requires
of you
in the end
it is resilience …
you will need to be
resilient
so you can find your way
back to yourself
when all is dark
and the moon and stars
are elsewhere
life takes many turns
before the way is made clear
“There’s an Open Field …
I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi
TL
When it Rains
beneath a bridge
there lives no troll
but a shadow
of a human
being
who for
whatever reason
has lost
his or her way
in the world
and maybe the way
was never clear
was never shown
for not all souls
begin with warmth
and song
we are not all born
in hospitals
swaddled in cribs
with families
waiting
to take us home
to live
under roofs
with walls
and floors
and lighting
and provisions
and even if that’s
a possibility
it does not guarantee
love
for the outside of a dwelling
can be so deceptive
to a passerby
whether it be a mansion
or a humble abode
each homeless person knows
from whence they came
but they know not
where they will go
where they will end up
for they get stuck
in place
and become part
of the landscape
TL
A l o n e
to be ok
a l o n e
is something
one must own
for many a man
and many a woman
boy
and girl
never learned
such a thing
not quite
how to be
ok alone
that it’s all right
to be
a l o n e
that it’s not
the end
of everything
if you look around
someday
and find
nobody there
but you
you still have you
the you that is infinite
and divine
don’t let anyone
or any thing
take yourself
from yourself
know your worth
from the get-go
don’t let nobody
decide that for you
but you
don’t lie down
and die
alone
or jump off bridges
and buildings
or slip from chairs
or beneath bubbles
or sip too much whiskey
and wheat
or down too many pills
or drop too many syringes
or breathe in too much powder
and dust
or take off to parts
unknown
without return
or head out to the middle of
nowhere
like a cowboy
without a home
or disappear into the cloud
like a pilot running away
from earth
from all their troubles
all the hard stuff
that comes with age
so teach the young
while they’re still young
that it’s ok
to be
a l o n e
that you will be
ok
if you find yourself
a l o n e
one fine day
you must keep going
on
for all things are connected
no one is ever only
truly
all alone
the wind is within
the breath of life
do not forget the you
that is you
and you a l o n e
to be ok
with one’s self
should be a life-long
pursuit
when it’s all
gone away …
there is still
you
be ok
with you
TL
The Grief of Gone
threw
the pages
away
and watched
‘em burn
to ash
what becomes
of the body
when life
is gone
think about all the rows
of empty houses
up for sale
in neighborhoods
big and small
far and wide
the selling off of things
so many things
how sad it is
the inevitable end
when you haven’t even
a spoon
left
you haven’t the energy
required
to lift a spoon
i’ve watched the dying die
and it’s not
how they say
it is
TL
Before Dawn
the earth
is shifting
shape
deep within
its crust
spreading
beyond its
core
where death
and life
become
one
TL
Hard As It Is
Easter
in your eyes
how then
where will
you be
i’ll look in every
room
i’ll look outside
i’ll look down
the drive
i’ll wait
i’ll be waiting
for you
to walk through
the door
and i’ll hear ‘ya
long before i see ‘ya
you’ll be toting
your layered strawberry cake
and Papa will be close behind
angling fer the first slice
…
we’re supposed to
sit together
you and i
and talk and tease and laugh
like we always do
you’re supposed to
make me green beans
and i’m supposed to
tell ‘ya how good they are
i woke up
thinking that …
thinking about that
your pots
all your empty pots and pans
but you tell me
to hush
and dry my tears
and put on my face
“for the show
must go on …”
TL
Pride & Prejudice
the romantic
bleeds
for the pages
of poetry
in this timeless tale
of love …
of falling in love
TL
Message
talking
to stone
in a stream
we talk about
most any
thing
since we sit in silence
most times
seems these days
i talk more
and you less
i tell you
how the light
blinked in the bulb
as i sat waiting
on food
and how none
of the others
did
just that one
in my direct vision
and how it blinked
on and off
like the star
on top of the tree
at Christmas
in Morse code
minutes upon minutes
blinked by
then it went back
to normal
as i sat silent
i tell you this
as if you don’t
already know
but you listen
anyways
TL
In the Meadow
all i see
are clover
when i close
my eyes
all i see
are clover
4-leaf clovers
everywhere
is it jest
a phase
i’m going through
or something
more
have i become
an unexpected
collector of clover
i don’t know
but …
it’s something
to look forward to
each day
perhaps it will be
a life-long pursuit
or a memory
of that April in 2025
when i found so many
3 on Tuesday
3 on Wednesday
9 on Thursday (wonder what the record is for one day)
3 on Friday
and 1 this morning
of the 19 clovers
3 were 5-leaf
i rather enjoy
this hobby
of collecting clover
it has become
a habit
to look down
on the ground
to see if i see
4
or 5
green leaves
TL
Richard Chamberlain
i knew him
only
as Father Ralph
in The Thorn Birds
it was a love story
as complex as
love is
to feel it
in all its forms
the sweeping saga
of love and loss
an undeniable force
between them
and in the end
he died
the way he would
have wanted
ever in her arms
among the delicate roses
and the piercing thorns
with the sky above
her tears below
TL
Lily of the Valley
at the end
of the day
she appeared
with a black box
of dirt
and inside the dirt
there were rows of roots
bearing
green leaves
she had been quietly
tending the soil
for two months
time
growing these roots
into leaves
and when i looked down
into the box
of dirt
with green leaves
i was stunned …
i looked at her
and looked down at the leaves
and looked back at her
i knew what she had brought me
she knew what she had brought me
this wasn’t just a box of dirt
and leaves
this was a memory
from long ago
that i had shared with her
when she was
a little girl
telling her how
when i was
a little girl
just her age
my favorite flower was
a tiny white bell
that smelled like the most beautiful perfume
in the world
and that nobody can bottle it
i told her how i’d never forgotten
what it smelled like
and how i hoped one day
she would find the flower
and breathe it in
i tried three times
to find it
once a nursery promised
they could order it
but after checking back
a time or two
it was not to be
another time a florist had my hopes up
convinced they had the flower
in stock
but it turned out
not to be
my flower
but something called
Leucojum
and from a distance
it looks the same
with its tiny white bells
but closeup
the green dots at the bottom of the bells
ring wrong
and the missing perfume
is a dead giveaway
another time
i found some bulbs at a big box store
and potted them straight away
and watered ‘em and waited
and waited
and waited
but the bells
did not appear
my daughter was 3
when she first asked me
what my favorite flower was
now she’s 18
out on her own
but she came back
in the middle of March
with a black box
of dirt
bearing green leaves
that may or may not
sprout into tiny white bells
of perfume
and while it would be wonderful
if they did
just knowing
she didn’t forget …
how she’s been
sitting in a horticulture class
in college
learning all about soil
and how to treat it
to grow whatever it is
you wanna grow
so when she saw the bulbs
in a big box store
two months ago
she bought ‘em straight away
and found a black box
and a bag of soil
armed with the knowledge
of what the soil needs …
it was hard for her to leave home
it was hard to watch her go
it’s been hard ever since
but last night
my 3-year-old daughter
came back
home
to surprise me
she did not forget ….
TL
Simply
the love
that just
is
is the best
kind
there is
it does not
question
what is
it just
is
what it
is
TL
If i had a Hammer
i remember
johnny
and his hammer
and how he never
stood still
for too long
a time
he never stopped
being busy
his girls were growing up
and out …
as he hammered nails
relentlessly
day in and day out
all around the house
stopping only
to answer
their call
or text
if he sat too long
or thought too hard
about it
he’d never get back
up …
i remember thinking
i gotta do that
when it’s my time
my turn
i gotta do that
i gotta do what johnny did
i gotta stay busy
and not sit too long
or think too hard
about it
TL
Spinning in Circles
my Amazon order
just shipped
it’s almost 2
to let the dog out
shoulda went to the gym
but i’m blue
and it’s cold
and i don’t know
but
it should be warmer
the ocean used to be warmer
for spring
b
r
e
a
k
now it’s a heartache
where’d the sun go
maybe it’s where that bird
flew off to
that little blue bird
that won’t be caged
like the lion
like the innocent
it’s all relevant
or irrelevant
depending
on the
who
what
when
where
and why
it’s 2
TL
Observation
the pollen
arrives
at the same time
the clocks
spring forward
Sunday
yellow dust
in the air
and then it’s gone
a bed of grass
filled with flowers
as the butterflies
blink across
the blue bird
in the window
sits for a second
as the squirrels race
up and down the tree
so much activity
even now
the ants are rallying
plotting and planning
how to get in the car
each day is different
underwater
the fish are zooming
around
not worried about
the hook
or the crane
they know how
to adapt
to adjust
animals are good
at that
humans
not so much
TL
Stuck in Place
for 18
y e a r s
i wrapped
my identity
up
into a being
who inevitably
left
and for 6 months
now
i’ve been trying to
figure out
how to unstick
from being stuck
i lie in bed at night
thinking
and wake up
thinking
and the other morning
my thoughts were
all over the place
mostly thinking about my dad
and those 6 months we had
September to February
and then as i lie there thinking
about that
it dawns on me
that that’s exactly the time-frame
she’s been gone
September to February
and now it’s 5 days
into March
TL
Mindset
Sunday went
and wore off
all the junk food
i ate Saturday
after a year at the gym
sparring the bag
the endurance level is evident
you go in feeling heavy
and leave feeling light
the discipline of life
is in the details
in the habits
in the action
the 1-2 punch
seems like nothing
but it builds
the body back
you can feel your heart beating
you can feel your lungs breathing
you can feel yourself reaching
and returning
to some part of yourself
you forgot
was there
all along
TL
The Day
bought some
new sunglasses
online
and they came in
on time
so i put ‘em on
today
a new shade
to hide the tears
as i sat chewing chips
in the car
then some chocolate
followed by an elephant ear
which is kinda like a giant sugar cookie
‘cept it’s flakey
anyways
the walk earlier wore off
it was supposed to be warmer
today
but there’s a distinct chill
in the air
so the golf i planned to play
in shorts
turned into a turn around town
listening to tunes
thinking the whole time
‘bout food …
like tacos
fried chicken
pizza
fried fish
tacos
stopped to read
for a bit
then stopped
and watched the wind
move
would have went
to a movie
but nothing worth
seeing
in either theatre
so instead
pulled into a park
on the way home
and watched a bunch of kids
kick up the dust
bent on being Beckham
they sure gave it their all
like they do on the regular
there were no cameras
no first place trophy
or cashier’s check
and still they played
like there was no tomorrow
just today
and that made me
smile
as the sun lowered down
somehow …
i muddled through
the way that i do
TL
(March 1, 2025)