Ink in the Blood Posts

The Lessons

here

is where

i remember things

and turn them over

sometimes it takes me years

to understand

the smallest thing

the study of it

in its nature

that even then

i was learning something

useful

that i would need

for later on

TL

“Eye of the Tiger”

last night

SEC football fans

got a title show

and they didn’t have to pay for HBO

mere minutes

can change history

as any fighter knows

Alabama did not tote that trophy home

what a way to start 2017

in a Sports Illustrated piece

I read about the opposing coach

and how he showed his team

a clip of Rocky II

see, that just ain’t fair

you can’t mess with that mindset

they all thought they were Rocky out there

and not even the Tide can roll over

dat

TL

Rambling

the pumpkin

on the porch

looked like

a scoop of ice cream

that splat off the cone

leftover from October

like a tree in December

all the shipments of roses in February

are dust by March

that’s how it is

a picture can’t capture it

it’s not the same

the weight of a pumpkin in its prime

its bright orange color

speaks of pies and hayrides

and then it’s time to pick out a tree

or find the fake one

and dress it up

from head to toe

then strip it bare

and toss it to the curb

or stuff it back in the corner

the glitter of New Years

has been swept up

off the floor

all the shelves are full

of hearts and flowers

and stuffed teddy bears

those stupid commercials

a diamond is not forever

there’s the idea of love

and then there’s real love

everybody thinks they’re in love

until they’re not

I still think

if you truly love somebody

you will love them

for all of your life

it won’t be a choice

TL

Natural Light

the branches

are wet with rain

and chilled with ice

I see them winking

in my window

a string of twinkle lights

plugged into the sun

they need no night

TL

Mesmerize

think

I know

better now

for better do I know

myself

when once I would deny

repute or dispel

all the adjectives

think I know better

now

the truth

the telescopic lens

tunnels to the moon

it cuts out all the stars

and space

when one wonders

of the galaxy

beyond one’s lighted face

none of us belong

below

there is a lift of all

to rise above

such sorrow

and hear the bells

that toll

a compilation piece

of season

silent in its movement

like aging

at our birth

the disappearance

that is death

TL

Luggage

I walked

to the water

and knelt by the sea

the suitcase I carry

got too heavy for me

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the woolly blanket

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the dear diary

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the open empty jar

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the dried dark rose

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the cinder block brick

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the worn out right shoe

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the worn out left shoe

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the broken crack mirror

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the soft hard snowball

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the winter white candle

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the gold gilded music box

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the picture and its place

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the one-way ticket

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the hermit crab shell

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the black dress I wore

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

I said to the envelope

and I threw it out to shore

I don’t need that anymore

TL

Work

all along

there are moments

that stop us

humans need that

the breathtaking

and the heartbreaking

these moments make you reaccess

internally

as you take it all in

where you are in life

how happy or how unhappy you might be

what you love about your life

and what you don’t

nothing jest happens

or is

without a bit of work

you’re not jest healthy ‘cause you woke up and took a breath

it takes work

your space isn’t jest clean and clear and calm jest ‘cause it is

it takes work

you don’t jest reach your goals jest ‘cause you wrote ‘em down

it takes work

you don’t jest become more than you are by standing still

it takes work

you don’t jest fall in love and stay in love

it takes work

you don’t jest plant a garden and walk away and expect it to grow

it takes work

you don’t jest up and understand how you came to be

it takes work

you don’t jest change yourself for the better

without working on yourself

every day

it takes work

TL

Layers

each year

around this time

I resolve

to simply

s i m p l i f y

and each year

I’m still sitting here

trying to resolve

maybe that’s why I love

the ocean so much

‘cause it’s wide-open

with nothing on the surface

but a passing sailboat

I love land, too

‘cause it’s wide-open

could walk for days

and days

then rest under a tree

and keep walking

but here in the real world

there are layers and layers and layers and layers

of stuff

everywhere I look

I long for a truck

and the resolution to fill it up

with all this stuff

and drive it off (a cliff)

however many times

it takes

to feel that feeling

that wide-open feeling

to be minimal

my life is far from minimal

I’d like to move

just so I could box it all up

and stand in empty rooms

like when the house was first built

and there was nothing in it

but I know you have to have a chair

to sit in

a table to put your plate on

a bed to lie down in

and an outlet to plug it all up

the television, the Internet, high-def, surround sound,

the blender, the toaster, the frig, the stove, the washer, the dryer, the lamp, the rest

gotta have my music

my books

my paintings

my pictures

my equipment

all the pretty pieces

too much beauty

and that’s just the top layer

there’s the junk layer

the sentimental layer

the wardrobe layer

the gadget layer

the bulk layer

the storage layer

the why in the world layer

the gift layer

the decoration layer

the can’t get rid of layer

BUT I CAN

I can get rid of it

I have that choice

I can methodically sift through the layers

and purge

so, why haven’t I

done that

yet

here and there I have

but you’d never know it

‘cause getting rid of layers

takes time

and energy

a toll

but more than anything else

it takes resolve

a tanker truck load

of resolve

(and a giant cliff)

TL

More Than This

there’s a fence

around the field

to keep the cattle

in place

the horse at gait

an old Oak

umbrellas the sun

slows the descent

needling down

the wind’s force

subdued

a stray dog

wanders around

sniffing for home

stacks of hay

rolled tight like twine

the bare minimum

nothing but space

like you could walk forever

and figure it out

why you’re here

a sunset in the sky

slowly closes its eyes

a black blanket

of warmth

the last of the embers

sleep is an absolution

rest without death

it doesn’t matter

in those hours

of fade

TL

Here and Now

I took

a walk

to clear

the clouds

my eyes

on the ground

I miss the morning

ray

glittering on the grass

that feeling

that life is circular

back to the beginning

the first page

the closer you get

to understanding

the further you are

from it

standing in snow

the trees are dripping

tomorrow it’ll be

slush

Monday you’ll never know

it snowed

the grass will need cutting

green tomatoes

will turn red

white flowers become

berries

grapes on the vine

apples hanging by a limb

the pits and seeds and rinds

peeling back time

am I better or worse

I can hear the train

the church bells ringing

tomorrow it’ll rain

you walked by

and didn’t know me

I sit back down

and wait

my turn

TL

Guinevere

she’s somewhere

in Tennessee

still playing with black bears

and picking lavender

from her hair

awake with the moon

pointing up at the stars

and giving them names

she pulls out her guitar

and sings

and I wonder if she’s happy

not the ha ha happy

but the I’m-living-my-little-girl-dream-happy

there in the wilderness

of winter and wildflowers

mountain streams

in mist

her footprints worn on the path

the birds are chirping

like crickets

and raindrops

and I think I heard her

humming

TL

Empty Vases

there are

petals in the river

blown there by the wind

far from the face of a flower

they kiss the water

and get swept away

by a strong current

the moon in its mood

at different phases

a sentimental star

cast the shadow down

a million miles from the garden

where once the eye would linger

perfumed in the air

a white rose took blush

in the heat of a stare

some roses fall to pieces

and get carried to the river

while others bleed on the vine

and drop like ash

a magic few

make it inside

by hand

to trim a table

or romance a room

or keep a page

or the company

of the mind

the mystery of the heart

where once a rose

did bloom

a token of youth

and all that’s lost

in June

TL

Wandering

on nights

like this

when it’s pouring

down

I think about things

certain things

like ticking clocks

that suddenly stop

moving

how boiling kettles

whistle and spit and spew

then settle

how ice cubes

melt into a drink

like a snowman in the snow

how a small child has more fun

with dirt and rocks and sticks

than plastic pieces that beep and blink

how you can have the best intentions

and be misunderstood

how nobody wants to lose

but loss is not a choice

how you can look at a picture

and it takes you back

how the land can stay the same

when everything else changes

how the body and mind can decay

but not the spirit

how you can look at the ground

and walk all over it

and never see yourself beneath it

how the poorest person can be rich

and the richest person can be poor

how it’s not the music that makes the music good

but the person listening to it

how you can take a brick and stack it

and build a castle

how the earth is full of wonder

in the smallest speck of dust

how nothing is without want

were it not for need

how against all odds

it makes it

and lives

TL

Graves

the leaves

are wet with rain

a final sip

before they fall away

leaving bones of bark

skeletal

would that a bird

give it blush

the moon its dress

the rain its jewels

TL

Away

this Christmas

give them a book

a story they might unfold

and tuck away inside

their pocket

‘cause ‘ya never know

when they might need it

in their travels

over an ocean

through a desert

past a cornfield

inside a cave

under a tree

beneath the snow

above the blade

where the wildflowers dally

and the songbird lilts

a book can do that

it can take you away

if it’s good

TL

Will You

when I’m not

shiny and new

innocent, too

will you

when I’m not

the rock in the room

but the river run out

will you

when I’m not

light and airy

but a little scary

dark and very

will you

when I’m not

happy just to be

a l i v e

but a bit sad inside

will you

when I’m not

wrong

but always right

right

will you

when I’m not

strong

at all

but the armor is

will you

when I’m not

willing to bend

‘cause I’m already broke

will you

when I’m not

ready to drop

the handle I’m holding

to travel the world

will you

when I’m not

aging gracefully

but aging out

will you

when I’m not

the trusting kind

‘cause I’ve been sold

will you

when I’m not

a face in the crowd

but a homebody at heart

will you

when I’m not

here but there

there but here

will you

when I’m not

nodding yes

but shaking no

to test

will you

when I’m not

a rose

but you think I am

will you

TL

Well Being

the sunlight

gave its energy

to the tomato

I ate

the carrots, the kale, the cucumbers

the celery, the beets, the radish

the spinach, the peppers, the parsley

from the ground they grew

sensing there was more

than darkness and dirt

they kept punching up

and saw the sky

that it was blue

felt the sun

the wind move

drank a drop of water

stood with trees

and petal flowers

watched the day open

and watched it close

night falls

but it’s not pitch dark

for the stars

so many stars

TL

Time Travel

today’s my

dad’s birthday

we only had one together

as I recall

the one before he died

waited all my life to see him again

put college on hold

got on a plane in September

had Halloween in October

turkey in November

Christmas in December

New Years in January

Valentines in February

how would I know

how could I ever know

that’d be The End

think it takes a lifetime

to accept the unacceptable

you don’t ever get over it

when you lose someone

you love

you just live in a different time

and place

but you’re still wearing

his coat, his black coat

‘cause it smells like him

and you wrap your arms around yourself

and pray he’s still alive

you get to the hospital

and he’s there in the bed

looks like he’s asleep

his skin’s still warm

they had to pry me off him

I just lie on the floor

I can’t breathe

it rained all night

I remember it rained all night

picked out a silver casket

a suit for him to wear

a tie I had just bought him for Christmas

I wrote him a letter

and read it aloud at his funeral

I put roses on his grave

and went back to class

‘cause I was in the middle of a semester at UNLV

the professor in my creative writing course

told me he was glad I came back

and didn’t drop the class

he told me how hard it must be

he had no idea

no one did

TL

Art

shadows

hung on the wall

frameless and free

not there for long

long enough to see

the picture change

its form

when i was small

i was a shadow watcher

of walls and streets

and i’d make up stories

in my mind

museums of moving pieces

that played out

like an ocean

with its waves

flowing and unfolding

against the sand

tossing up shells

and seaweed and minnows

in my hand

and watching them fall

like drops

from a cloud

TL

Control

it’s funny how

we choose

with our choices

take a plate

for example

each day

morning

noon

night

we take our empty plate

and fill it

with whatever we like

and sit or stand somewhere

and consume it

how do we feel after

years after

what is the effect

of choice

was it poison

or medicine

we took

food should heal you

never hurt you

it should energize you

not suck the living life out of you

how many special occasions

weekends, holidays, vacations

had-a-bad-day-so-I-went-and-ate-it

does it take

to make somebody so sick

and tired

they can’t breathe right

walk down the street right

sleep at night right

it seems simple enough right

they say 80 percent

is in the kitchen

and 20 percent

is in the sweat

I say 100 percent is self

controlled

TL