Ink in the Blood Posts

Seasons

Summer a sigh

as slumber befalls

the return of rain

 

are you the same

dust on the frame

print the past

 

the lessons four

rehearsal run

where’s the eraser

 

meant to stay

longer

in the sun

 

before my hair

turned gray

and my mind a maze

 

leaves are leaving long lines

without a trace of shade

concrete color wash and wear

 

walked the woods in winter

felt the flurries melt my face

bent down to touch the ground

 

round and round the colors turn

till green is grass and yellow rings a bell

as bonnets of blue curtsey to the wind

 

summer yawns and stretches forth

wide awake and walking

barefoot blades running through and through

 

ask again

 

are you the same

dust on the frame

print the past

 

the lessons four

TL

 

Camelot

followed a winding path

that took me from the streets

to a misty morning

where the greens

wink with dewy diamonds

and the trees whisper, “Hollow”

round the bend

the crows are ever-watchful

of who goes forth

as they strut across the lawn

in tailored tuxedos

down the way

little birds bathe

in left-over rain

before winging away

as a yellow butterfly weaves

between the papered trees

at the crossroads

no turning thought

a bridge of wood beckons further

as castles in the distance

rise and fall

trees are swaying

but none so fair

as the one with locks of hair

that weeps

and brings me still

to the center

of somewhere

far from here

TL

Above the Dirt

passed a Mexican man

on my way to Pasadena

in a glance

his life

no “parade of roses”

he swung his shovel high

like a golfer

in full swing

far from the green

his boots ditch deep

he seemed to see

not trees nor traffic

so spent on digging

out the dirt was he

took no notice of the time

how the sun sat fat

upon his shoulders

the luxuries of life

not his to waste

for he knows

he can be replaced

so he swings his shovel high

it’s “do or die”

TL

Parents

they sat at a table

the three of them

as they always have

the dad, the mom and the daughter

the daughter now 18

she tells us she’s about to be married

to a military man

and how she can’t wait to follow him

from place to place

land to land

as she beams in love’s pure light

her dad doesn’t say too much

his face says it all

her mother smiles

sad smiles

their daughter’s 18

what do you do

you can’t beg

you can’t say, “Please …”

you can’t stowaway

you can’t torture her with tears

you can’t scream or rant or rave

you can’t play the guilt game

you can’t give way

you’ve got to stay

right where you are

so she’ll know how

to find you …

her mother

her father

TL

Shadow

where are you

are you still alive

or did you die alone;

you could have died today

while I went about my way,

I’d have never known

would I have felt the loss

somewhere in the wind

would I weep and not know why

did you send your spirit with me

all that time ago …

for I have felt that it was so

in the smallest moments,

the darkest days

would that you love me still

in the quiet of the night

the stillness of the sea

the moon the same

for you

for me

TL

 

Meant To Be

“It was meant to be …”

not sure of that

of what that really means,

but I hear it all the time

so what you’re telling me,

albeit from the threshold of a full frig,

is that those folks standing there

holding that cardboard sign, “HUNGRY,”  

are where they’re meant to be

or that there are children, a third away,

starving for a grain of rice for it was meant to be

or that schoolchildren, who live in the land of the free,

are fed their three squares in a cafeteria line since it was meant to be

or that a mother would steal food stamps

and be branded a felon for life

cause it was meant to be

or that even in Washington, DC., the homeless sleep

on concrete steps that lead to White Houses

where Declarations were signed and sealed

for it was decreed that was

meant to be

TL

Unknown Stone

is it enough

to fill in

the blanks

with what you have

instead of what you lost

 

do you really have to know

what you’ve never known before

 

and what if

what you thought you knew

turns out to be untrue …

 

like a given name

any given day

 

does it matter

where you were

or

where you are

 

can you rest in peace

in this life

or

the next

 

never knowing

who you really are

TL

Separation

too tired

to sleep

something you said

has me out of bed

past midnight

walking the floor

what a warm cup of milk

won’t spill

there’s so much to say

but never said

do tears tell the time  

schoolbag in hand

thought we just met

smiled all day

and shook hands

thought I was doing ok

like I could do this

but what is this

 

you look at me,

and I look at you

 

I love you so much …

you’ll never know how much

and you say, in that matter-of-fact way,

“Yes, I do, Mommy,

I do know how much –

you love me

too much”

TL

Dust

painted the wall

red

and it bled

coat after coat

the color high

the color low

would not blend

would not roll

they say red is hard

to get just right

it varies in the light

from a garden rose

to an orchard row

a dance between

a dance below

it takes a step

then takes a turn

before it smokes

and ember burns

“ashes to ashes”

are the masses

who painted high

and painted low

for that perfect pitch

and ever-glow

of stain on glass

no body knows

“then sings my soul”

TL

“Little Boy Blue”

here is a poem

for you

 

at 4

you don’t know the door

but you will at 18

 

go far …

and find yourself

don’t be anybody else

 

don’t be them

be the golden boy

I know you are

 

the one I saw

that day

running away

or trying to

 

you’d almost reached the toys

before they came after you

no time for toys

you were there to pick a movie out for rent

and you would

 

heard you crying in that awful way

heard them yelling at you, blaming you

as if you were a grown man

who had taken their food away

 

at 4

you don’t know the door

but you will at 18

 

go far …

TL

Box

when it rained

I’d stick my hand

out the window

for there was no pane

when I walked around

I walked through walls

for there were only beams

when I looked up

I could see the clouds

for there was no lid

when I’d go to leave

I’d just walk on through

for there was no door

no lock to turn

when I returned

glass was glued to the frames

sheetrock divided space

shingles covered clouds

and when I left

I closed the door

and locked it

TL

 

Warrior

life is strange

just when you think

you’ve got it figured out

you don’t

nothing ever stays

the same

the only constant

is change

to fight against change

is to think that life

can be controlled

but like the retreat and return

of the ocean, life cannot still –

it must constantly churn and swirl

therein lies the beauty

it is the spirit that will not die

no matter the cost or consequence

it is a refusal to hide

for to stay on dry land

and never venture out

is the way of a coward

and it is that breed

that knows no pure joy

or complete sorrow

it is a life lived half

instead of whole

fear makes this so

it is only a brave heart

though it beats with fear

pushes on and does not retreat

and in this noble state

peace is found

TL

Adoption

she looks to be

one and a half

in the photograph

she’s wearing a dress

and small slipper shoes

she’s standing outside

plants behind her

it’s a wallet-size snippet

black and white

not much to see

she fills the frame

a singular form

forcing a toothless smile

somebody took the shot

somebody stuck a sticker on it

a four digit number

of identification

that photograph

that number

was sent out

from Seoul, Korea

to America

Wilbraham, Mass.

a couple there

saw that photograph

of that little girl

and something

about her

reached

out to them

so they bought her

and changed her name

… her life

Nov. 12, 1974

TL

Stationary

on a lonesome

summer day

in a parked lot

of packed cars

saw a silver shield

against the wind

sealing out the sun

and splattered rain

gray shadows

formed and fell

cross a cradle

in the car

a driver in distress

no cash to close

the gaping mouth

above the baby’s head

so sticky tape

would have to do

to cover that unholy spew

and hide the painful view

of windshield wipers whipping

back and forth

spitting out the water

on the car to the left

and to the right

where no drops of rain fell

from hood to hood

TL

Quest

sHe

sets sail

at sundown

 

the water’s cool

and the wind is high

like that yellow pie

 

eyes a distant star

and turns toward it

seems so far

 

will the vessel hold

nobody knows

you’re either in

or you’re out

 

is there really

a choice

 

at the start

the shell is

smooth

and cuts the water

like a knife

in time

the blade turns dull

and leaves no wake

the shell is different now

no longer fragile

and familiar

battered in a red sea

and badly burned

wounded in the water

no bearing

 

still the star

comes out at night

a speck of white light

 

many moons later

the sailor changes course

and sets sight

for shore

where the sand is shining

and the palms are waving

and a cup of coconut

is pirate’s bounty

 

one last linger

before the final push

a shell without a sailor

 

at sunup

“it is well”

TL

Rain

hosepipe

in the sky

opened wide

 

watched the curtain fall

like i was small

 

found a good seat

 

saw the smoke

crawl across concrete

as if an urn had overturned

and scattered ashes

out to sea

 

summer sun

happy haze

wall of water

falling fast …

know it

doesn’t last

TL

Gems

string of macaroni

full of facets and fire

they hold the light

TL

 

Blink

lines are long

so are the complaints

get to the front

“I’m going on break”

 

roll at a crawl

deposit drop

get to the front

to sit there and sigh

“Sorry for the wait,

receipt machine’s on the blink”

 

blink, blink, blink

too much time to think

 

why hurry

where do you have to be

really

sand is running out

look at old faces

ask old questions

no answers there

just a blink

 

school teaches: conform

life teaches: re-form

over and over and over

blink

toddler to teen

blink

single to married

blink

married to parents

blink

parents to grandparents

blink

grandparents to great-grandparents

blink

great to grave

 

do you know any more

than you did before

are you really that much smarter

than you were at 16

 

“love is love”

 

don’t blink

TL

 

My Weakness

untouched toys

scattered on the floor

tiny tornado

out the door

 

left me a wreck

stuck at goodbye

 

knew it was coming

saw the lightning

heard the thunder

felt the rumble

 

still crumbled

 

wasn’t prepared

for the gust

how hard

it would rain

how long

it would last

TL

Daily Grind

can’t even

do that

 

the phone’s ringing

someone’s at the door

the dog’s barking

the birds are squawking

the dryer buzzer’s ringing

the oven timer’s beeping

 

and I’m getting old

and everyone around me is getting old

and my patience is frayed

and I don’t want to talk to you

or anybody or anyone or anything

 

ever feel like that

 

like you don’t want someone to understand

cause they don’t

they don’t even understand themselves

let alone you

but they want to pretend to

and that gets you

 

so you run

around

in circles

until

you’re too

tired

to give

a damn

so what

if

everyone’s

a liar

even you

who cares

tomorrow’s

another

day

even if

it

isn’t

true

TL