Ink in the Blood Posts

Wherewithal

she was

born

without

a mother

of ease

or ignorance

or the luxury of means

for an orphan

bore her

one raised

behind a door

behind the eye of a child

witnessing the worst

of human weakness

the humility of hatred

the rage that knows no bounds

the loneliness of self-reliance

the betrayal of trust and safety

the abuse of position and power

the loss of what it means

to be little

but even an orphan knows the truth

that there’s always a choice …

before a tone turns deafening

before a hand becomes a weapon

before a drink becomes a poison

before a room becomes a prison

before a mask becomes a monster

before it’s too late for sorry

for someday

no apology can change

past transgressions

and the orphan lies awake at night

wondering

if the child she bore

will ever understand

what it is

to be free

truly free

to fly

above the cloud

and touch the color

taste the rain

feel the ray

see the blue

and know

that even when

the sky turns

and lightning burns the clouds black

and not a breath of wind can ease the ache

and not a drop of rain can reach the eye

and not a note of song can find the tree

let there be

but a remembering

of good things

that within the enormity

of loss

there is the smallness

of a word kept kind

that when felt

becomes gold

a gold greater than wealth

greater than all possession

all power

all greed

greater

still

TL

Adjustment

as I await

her return …

it occurs

to me

I am thus

forevermore

accustomed

to await

her return …

as I am

thus

in this

moment

solitaire

TL

Under the Stars

a cloud inside

a cloud

soft like cotton

sifting

the rain aching

to fall

but the blue won’t

turn gray

the light burns

behind the eye

it’s all gone

like waking

from a dream

you don’t remember

Dorothy in a field of red poppies

is anything in our control

being born

being buried

burned

the sea keeps reaching

closer

and closer

and closer

whether you’re ready

or not

we go

u

n

d

e

r

disappearing

from sight

and if only

you were loved

were you known

and if only

you loved

were you here

it’s not enough

to just

go through

to get by

to show up

when the dust settles

and all is quiet

know I loved you

more than this life

my darling, my dear

my yittle boo

my purpose

was you

it was always

you

(written on the beach May 13, 2022)

TL

Under the Sky

after

the candles

burn out

and what’s said is said

and the line

of people

go home

and the silence sets in

and the reality

becomes real

of what was

and what is

closes in

and there’s nowhere to go

but inward

the journey then begins

for those

left

who were not ready

not prepared

not yet

to bury

their love

but because they loved

their loved one so

they lived

a complete life

however long

however short

there is no other purpose

for a mortal being

than to love

and be loved

little children

know this

and teach us

what it is

to love

and be loved

TL

Young Love

don’t know

why

they call it

a breakup

when it’s actually

a breakdown

there’s nothing up

about it

ask any

one

who ever loved

and let go …

and went on

to live …

a different life

what it’s like

and when you’re young

still trying

to find your feet

and figure out

how to stand

on your own

that first break

first ache

first farewell

can feel un

bearable

like you’ll never be

h

a

p

p

y

again

some say

it’s not real

when you’re a teen

ager

but a young person

feels things

deeply

especially a sensitive soul

it’s not wise

to dismiss

that first welling

in the early years

for anything

other than

what it is

you are changed

inside

in a way that stays

with you

as you age

and each time

there’s a break

up

it’s a break

down

TL

The Hunt

i scurry

outta bed

gotta go hide the eggs

painted pastels

but the basket’s empty

i look everywhere for the eggs

but all i find are pieces

crushed and chipped

like tiny tiles

i try to find which piece

goes where

i pick one up

and put it down

years go by

did anybody ever find

the golden egg …

was it worth it

all that work

all that time

it took

searching

for a piece of plastic

with something good inside

can somebody tell me

if it was worth it

anybody

wait, what …

what did you say

I said, how do you like your eggs

scrabbled

fried

poached

hard boiled

sunny-side up

or over easy

but I don’t even eat eggs

then why you here

looking for eggs

i don’t know

i was hungry

i guess

well, look for something else

there’s more than eggs

on the menu …

I’ll come back

when you’re ready

TL

Poster Poem

“if you

L

O

V

E

some

thing

set it

free …

if it

comes back

to you

it’s yours

if it

doesn’t

it never

was …”

Richard Bach

Tiger Woods Returns …

to the pristine greens

of Augusta

in the Spring of 2022

on the heels

of his World Golf Hall of Fame

induction

Tiger Woods

has shown

no

he’s not done

one solitary step

at a time

he makes his way around

getting up and down

having journeyed

so far

internally

for the love of the game

the feeling

a feeling like

none other

TL

Going Through

she’ll be

16 soon

and I’d like to say

I’m ok with it

that I’m fine

that I don’t mind

that it’s nothing

just a part of life

part of growing up

and out

I see all these kids

she went to pre-school with

get in their cars

their trucks

their Jeeps

and take off

and I wanna cry

I just wanna sit there and cry

but I just wave

and smile

and watch ‘em go by

all these bright beautiful butterflies

by the time you get to this point

as a parent

it’s a lot

don’t kid yourself

that it’s not

TL

Only if … you Let it

life has

a way

of sanding you

into shape

each heartbreaking moment

chisels you

deeper

into something

you weren’t prepared to be

or feel

or accept

it is a painful process

that ages you

when you experience

a tragic thing

like loss

or betrayal

or self-sabotage

you have no choice

what’s done is done

all you know for sure

is how much it hurt

and i wonder if this makes you

less willing

to try

next time

or the next

or the next

do you hesitate now

think things through

less trusting

less open

less willing

to move

are you lessened by life

or extended by it

do you let your mind lead

never the heart

keep the heart locked

cautious

controlled

contained

you refrain

avoid

become inaccessible

guarded

nobody gets through the gate

the pigeon has flown

no trace

an old lion now paces

back and forth

at the gate

TL

First and Last

swept some dew

drop

diamonds

and put ‘em

in my pocket

pretending

it ain’t really

all that bad

picked up my magic

wand

and found a green

that accepts me

as i am

in the quiet

of a song

i listen and learn

wrote so many

in my mind

the moon split in half

one hangs high in the sky

the other fell flat

on its face

there’s always a price

a ransom

a deposit

some say love is free

methinks they never knew

love at all

or had a clue

an inkling

a grain

there was no weeping

in the willows

for not a one

of ‘em

as they stood in their shiny silver shoes

on the bank of the mountain

afraid of the mud

the muck

it is a soiled rotten wretched thing

to love

to let love take you

in such a way

as this

complete

people pick and choose

the parts of love

they like

and leave the rest

behind

nobody wants a dead rose

the fresh fragrance gone

the color drained from face

petals crumbling underfoot

it’s easy to admire a blooming beginning

not so much

the fallen flower

curled up

and gone

but the wind

in its wild ways

gave it its first breath

before it ever blossomed beauty

and ruffled its layers

sending its scent

into the ether

in the sway

the gentle sway

it let the flower rest

and rise

wipe its eyes

and when the petals

were too weak

to hold on

a moment more

the wind in its infinite wisdom

lifted each up

and carried ‘em

to the water’s edge

and let ‘em

find their way

in

and the water

sighed

in its ripples

reaching out

for it had been waiting

so long

all along

for the rose

to finally return

to its center

the center of its being

its becoming

its belonging

but first

it had to let go …

of the stem

it’d been clinging

and be fearless

to fall

a

w

a

y

TL

You Love What You Love

there’s a blue

pond

on the wall

the watercolor

has bled

out to the edge

of the paper

like the other

side

of the ocean

not sure where

it went

but i like to think

it’s ever … flowing

for small hands

made it

so …

TL

Over the Rainbow

at the end

of May

we brought her home

wrapped up

like a tight burrito

with the moon in our eyes

the sun high

nothing but blue skies

gently

we put her in the backseat

me beside her

and drove 35mph

over Second Avenue bridge

i saw nothing

but her

as we went along

down the road

rounding the corner

the bend

down the driveway

through the door

now … 15 years later

i sit in the backseat

alone

and i see nothing

but her

as she hops up

into her Daddy’s truck

adjusts the seat

the wheel

checks the mirror

and drives us

carefully

out the driveway

down the street

around the corner

the bend

over Second Avenue bridge

all the way down

the road

straight to Panama

outside the sun shone

bright and beautiful

nothing but blue skies

gentle breeze

inside it rained

in the ray

quiet drops

that slipped to sea

rolling into waves

rushing over sand

and shell

splashing seagulls

and holding up boats

overhead a rainbow

appeared on paper

an empty box of crayons

on the floor

every color was used

TL

Dear Dad,

at the edge

of foam

looking out

to sea

your silver boat

no longer gleams

your plastic face

fell off

long ago

never knew nothing

harder

than watching you

disappear

still stopped by silver hair

i just stand and stare

but it’s never you

could of sworn it was

but it never is

i walk away

pushing your boat

back out

i go find something

to eat

something to drink

a bed to sleep

and i wake up

again

in the quiet

wish i’d recorded

your laugh

so i could play it back

when things get

off track

and i can’t seem

to see

what i need to see

photos lie

anybody can smile

for a second

the joy of being

with someone you truly love

is a circle

without numbers

without seconds without minutes

without hours

there is no yesterday

no today

no tomorrow

the past, the present, the future

matters not

not on this watch

this clock

there is no start

no stop

it just is

TL

Just Be

when things

drop away

what’s left

in each life

there is a shedding

of sorts

whether it’s intentional

or unintentional

we shed

i truly believe

a 3-year-old child

already knows

the secret to life

and all we do

is try …

to get back

to that

that knowing

that unknowing

that place

that is truly free

and pure

and sacred

within thy self

to clear away

the unnecessary

things

that keep us stuck

is necessary

to see the reflection

clearly

the sea before the sun

is like that

there is a constant

way

in which it moves

that fills the eye

with the same scene

of centuries past

the water ripples

across

reaching forth

and retreating back

flowing continuously

like music

like wind

the sea is a symphony

a song within a song

and when you’re 3

you carry the sea

with you

at all times

no matter where

you go

or who

you’re with

everything flows

effortlessly

TL

Written Words

“Injustice any

where

is a threat

to justice

every

where.

We are caught

in an

inescapable network

of mutuality,

tied in a single

garment of destiny.

What

ever affects 1

directly,

affects A11

indirectly.”

MLK

Confetti in the Rain

you bought

the works

but I missed

your show

stayed at home

kneading pizza dough

the ball dropped

where in New York City

wouldn’t know

missed the count

closed my eyes

and opened ‘em

on 22

blew out the candles

and said adieu

but Peter Pan says NO

don’t ever say goodbye

never say goodbye

‘cause goodbye

means going away

and going away means

forgetting

lest I forget

all of it

all the good

all the bad

all the happy

all the sad

it’s yours

and it’s mine

we in the world

know it

too well

can’t have the candle

without the cake

else we’d never know

the difference

between a summer’s day

and a winter’s night

ice cubes melting

in the mug

I wonder where

time goes

when it’s not with me

where does it go

when it quietly leaves

the room

and goes off

the clock

I’d like it back

you know

all the time

I wasted

on worry

what I would of done

had I known

you only get that one

summer in the sun

before it turns

January 1

TL

Beneath the Stone

when the sky

was blue

it was a wing

that lifted me

off

way away

and i saw myself

from a great distance

radiating

like a diamond

dripping in the sea

that changes form

depending on the direction

of the light

too many diamonds

drown

i can see that

now

they fell

when no one

was around

the ink well

spilled

and made a mess

all over blue

it was as if

there was no day

no new day

all brand new

the pitch had

become

the day and the night

a clock that stopped

ticking

but way away

far from fear

the sky was blue

the clouds a puffy white

the wind a whisper

like a melody

and there i slept

for all my days

and all my nights

playing in the rain

walls of rain

that kept me safe

and sound

I still open the door

when it rains

so I can hear it better

and feel it

f

a

l

l

to the ground

deep down

into the ground

the dark cold

hard ground

where the sky

is always blue

and the sea

the endless sea

shimmers in the light

weightless diamonds

floating up

blinking and winking

like a star

on Christmas

TL

Charlie Woods

at 12

his dad

taught him

a great lesson

in endurance

that no matter what

happens or doesn’t happen

you adapt, you adjust

and you overcome

TL

In Repose

i sit

very still

and quiet

at the edge

of the sea

as it says

what it says

to me

i wonder

when it ever rests

maybe

on the other end

it’s as still

and as quiet

as me

waiting

for the sun

to rise

and sighing

as it

falls

beneath

there’s so much

going on

so much

i don’t see

or understand

or know

i feel like

a grain of sand

a drop of wave

picked up

and carried

and tossed around

then set me back

down

only to return

and retreat

in a rhythmic

and continuous

flow of time

a grain

is but a part

of something

more

something

infinitely more

as it travels so far

through time

and space

long nights

and dark days

in the crevice of a shell

tumbling and tumbling and tumbling

before it rests

in a bubble

of rain

and dries

in the breath

of a butterfly

and gets lifted

and carried off

in the careful hands

of a child

who will know

just what to do

TL